All About Sex

The best sex ever.

by Michael Castleman

Does Intercourse Hurt? A Guide to Women’s Sexual Pain

Until recently, many doctors dismissed women’s genital pain (dyspareunia or vulvodynia) as “neurotic,” which left them doubly wounded—in pain and put down. Some men don’t believe women’s complaints of sexual pain. Read More

Erection Changes After 50: The Facts

Based on junk email and ads for erection drugs, you'd think that every man over 50 has erectile dysfunction (ED). No way. Read More

Which Comes First? Desire? Or Sex?

For most men, libido is a “drive” that propels them toward sex. They want it and they go after it. But recent studies show that when many women, perhaps most, begin sexual encounters, they feel erotically neutral. Read More

Voyeurism And Exhibitionism: How Common Are They?

Do you enjoy R-rated movies with steamy sex scenes? Most people do. There’s a little bit of voyeur in all of us. Read More

Men's Secret Sex Problem

Men and the women who love them have heard of two sex problems that hit men below the belt. Read More

When It Comes To Sex, Women Know Best

If men made love the way most women prefer, both sexes would feel more sexually fulfilled — and many relationships would improve out of bed as well as between the sheets. Read More

Men Fake Orgasms, Too

Over the past 40 years, many surveys have asked women if they've ever faked an orgasm, and consistently, half to two-thirds (53 percent to 65 percent) have said yes they have at least once. But men faking orgasm? That's unheard of. Well, no, not exactly. Read More

Advanced Sexual Techniques for World-Class Lovers

Everyone knows what goes where. And everyone knows that it feels most satisfying when the people share an emotional attachment, ideally love. But plenty of people who love each other have sex that ranges from blah to lousy. Why? Read More

Sexually Stuck? Sex Therapy Usually Helps

What should you do if you have a chronic sexual issue that's driving you crazy? Several good studies show that in two-thirds of cases, self-help resources provide real benefit. But what about problems self-help can't fix? In two-thirds of cases, sex therapy either cures them or produces significant improvement. Read More

Secrets of Satisfying Quickies

Sex therapists agree that the most satisfying, most deeply erotic lovemaking involves slow sex--leisurely, playful, massage-inspired, whole-body sensual touch all over. But sometimes there's no time for it, and sometimes lovers want fast, rip-your-clothes-off quickies. Sex doesn't always have to be elaborate. Read More

Porn: Why Does My Man Watch? Is He a Sex Addict?

Until 1980, people (i.e. men) interested in porn had to visit the few thousand adult theaters peppered around the nation's cities, suburbs, and rural areas. People talked about "trench coats" and "dirty old men." Then home video arrived, and soon every rental outlet had an adult section. Viewing soared. Some men's spouses became alarmed and a new term entered the lexicon, "porn addiction." Read More

When She Wants Sex More than He Does

When people fall in love, initially, they can't keep their hands off each other. But six months to a year later, the hot-and-heavy period subsides and sexual frequency declines. This is no problem if both people experience the exact same decrease in libido. But typically, one person wants sex more often than the other, and desire differences become a sore point in many relationships. Read More

Guys, Want Greater Sexual Satisfaction? Then Stop Snoring!

"Laugh and the world laughs with you," British novelist Anthony Burgess once quipped. "Snore and you sleep alone." However, based on a recent study, Burgess' remark might need updating: "Snore and your sex life suffers." Read More

Better Sex in 10 Seconds—Guaranteed

It takes just 10 seconds to demonstrate that sexual lubricants enhance lovemaking: • Close your mouth and dry your lips.• Run a finger lightly over them, paying attention to how this feels.• Now, lick your lips.• Run a finger lightly over your moistened lips.• Notice any difference? Read More

A Sexual Frontier

Compared with other types of lovemaking, anal play requires more communication and trust, which deepen intimacy and bring couples closer, a big reason why it appeals to some lovers. Read More

No One "Gives" Anyone an Orgasm

Just about everyone can enjoy orgasms by themselves, but many people encounter difficulty having them with others. A great deal of research shows that only 25 percent of women are consistently orgasmic during intercourse, and an estimated 5 to 10 percent of men have trouble ejaculating and/or experiencing orgasm with partners. Read More

The Rare Truth about "Tight" and "Loose" Women

Busting myths about women's anatomy. Read More

Secrets of Satisfying Quickies

Sex therapists agree that the most satisfying, most deeply erotic lovemaking involves slow sex--leisurely, playful, massage-inspired, whole-body sensuality. But sometimes there's no time for it, and some lovers enjoy fast, rip-your-clothes-off quickies. Sex doesn't always have to be elaborate. Seven-course banquets are wonderful, but every now and then, fast food hits the spot. Read More

You're Never Too Old for Great Sex

The myth is that aging kills sexuality. The truth is that while many senior citizens "retire" from lovemaking, many others don't--and increasingly these sexy seniors are saying so. One is Joan Price, now in her sixties, whose excellent new book, Naked At Our Age: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex (2011, Seal Press) relates how, at age 57, she fell madly in love with a man who was 64. Read More

Hey, Researchers, It's Time to GET OVER Playboy's Depictions of Women

For decades, sex researchers have published studies tracking the nude models in Playboy magazine--their weight, breast size, waist-hip ratio, pubic hair, and vaginal lips. In my humble opinion, it's time for this cottage industry to shut down. Before the Internet, Playboy was widely believed to be a touchstone of American men's taste in women. Read More

Surprise Dates: Keeping the Erotic Flame Burning Hot

Most sexual relationships follow a predictable pattern. You meet, you click, and suddenly you're madly in love...but not forever. Depending on the relationship, the hot-and-heavy period typically lasts from six months to rarely more than a year. Read More

Aging's Sexual Silver Lining: How Sex Improves After 50

There's an old saying: Men have relationships to gain sex. Women have sex to gain relationships. This isn't true for everyone, but it's true often enough to become cliché--at least for people under about 50. Read More

Are There Really 40-Year-Old Virgins?

In the 2005 romantic comedy, "The 40-Year-Old Virgin," Steve Carell plays Andy, a nerdy retail salesman into his fourth decade who has never done the deed. He inadvertently lets his virginity slip to his friends, who decide to help him gain sexual experience, but their advice is screwball and their help is, at best, dubious. Read More

Sexual Teasing: Who Does It? And Why?

Sexual teasing involves the possibility of sex, then withdrawal of the perceived invitation.

Teasing violates a standard piece of relationship advice, i.e., communicate clearly. But people often don't, especially in dating and the interpersonal dance that precedes sex. In those situations communication is often indirect and ambiguous, what we call it flirting or teasing. Read More

How Does Internet Porn Affect Teens--Really?

Before the Internet, that is pre-1995s, hardcore pornography was difficult for teens to obtain. Today, with a few clicks, millions of photos and videos are available for free to anyone. Read More

Marijuana and Sex: Surprising Results of This Blogger’s Informal Survey

A year ago, I posted about marijuana's contradictory effects on lovemaking, an impact notably different from other recreational drugs. The sexual effects of alcohol, cocaine, narcotics, and meth-- you name it--are well-documented and predictable. But not marijuana. Its sexual effects are all over the map, from "I can't stand having sex stoned," to "I never have sex without it." Read More

Is Maca an Aphrodisiac?

Maca (Lepidium meyenii) is a perennial ground cover that grows high in the Andes under very harsh conditions where few plants can survive. Ancient Andean shepherds ate the fleshy root (similar to ginger) as a vegetable and fed it to their livestock. Read More

Don't Douche: It's Very Bad for Women's Sexual Health

Behind "that clean, fresh feeling" touted in ads for feminine hygiene products is the nasty implication that the vagina is a dirty, smelly organ that turns men off during sex. The ads have struck a nerve. An estimated 15 percent of U.S. women douche regularly. Read More

All Orgasms Are the Same ... But Different

Sigmund Freud touted two kinds of orgasms in women, clitoral and vaginal. More recently, other pundits have added a third kind to the list, the G-spot orgasm. It might appear that women can have three different kinds of orgasms, while men must get by with only one. Read More

The Hymen: A Membrane Widely Misunderstood

"Hymen" derives from the Greek for membrane. Hymen was also the Greek god of marriage. These two facts summarize the conventional wisdom about this widely misunderstood tissue, that this fabled membrane covers the vaginal opening, and is "pierced," "broken," or "torn asunder" when women wed and have intercourse, presumably for the first time. Read More

San Francisco journalist Michael Castleman, M.A., has written about sexuality for 36 years. He publishes GreatSexAfter40.com

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About All About Sex

My background is in journalism, reporting on sex research, which I've done for more than 3 decades. As a result, my blog tends to focus on research results and their implications for enhancing lovemaking.