Aging Our Way

Lessons for living, from age 85 and beyond

Continuity Across a Life: Sexuality

Sexuality in elders is a topic that is often ignored, forgotten, or even taboo. How can we get over our discomfort and respect the sexuality of elders? Read More

Another example of American sexual repression

It seems that the only place that sexual expression is freely and abundantly allowed is in movies and advertising. If you're young in America you may be told to wait until marriage. Then when you get marrried, your spouse may lose interest as the marriage wears on. So then you are told that cheating is bad, so no sex from anyone is your fate unless you divorce. This is the experience of many people, unfortunately.

And then the icing on the cake is that when you are old, once again you aren't really supposed to have sex.

So what it really comes down to for a lot of people is that they will often have break rules to have sex. In fact, it seems to be an American fetish that the sex isn't good unless it's breaking some rules. So if that's your fetish, America is a great place to have sex.

Agree With The Previous Poster

You're right, you're so right...!

I never dreamed that at age sixty, I would be sneaking around with my 73 year old boyfriend, LOL. Maybe it's time to make up our own rules? :)

My boyfriend is poo pooed by his physician when he asks for erectile dysfunction meds. Do you find this to be demeaning? I sure do! I think his problems should be taken just as seriously as anybody else's, but because of his age, they are not. He is treated like a naughty child.

If anything, his years of sexual experience make him a fantastic lover, regardless of the fact that his body (and his doctore) is not co-operating with him.

It's well-known that doctors

It's well-known that doctors who have not specialized in modern sexuality training and sexual medicine have almost no knowledge of sex outside of simply curing diseases and obvious physical sexual dysfunctions. In all likelihood, the doctor is more embarrassed about the whole discussion than your boyfriend, and doesn't even have the trained perspective to have the right attitude about it. They are just reacting on their own uneducated biases, which is extremely unbecoming of a professional doctor, by the way.

The best advice I have for you is that your boyfriend should immediately fire his doctor and replace him/her with someone more competent.

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Meika Loe, Ph.D., is Associate Professor of Sociology and Women's Studies at Colgate University.


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