Aging Our Way

Lessons for living, from age 85 and beyond.

by Meika Loe

Mother-Child Role Reversal? Not So Simple.

Psychologist Paula J. Caplan is caring for her mother, but many mis-characterize her situation. They imagine role reversal, or the recent infantilization of the mother. In reality, care work is much more nuanced than this. She writes of the ways in which her mother still cares for her, even as she is playing a guardian role. Read More

The “Grumpy Old Man” Who Insists on Punctuality

After a radio interview at my local NPR affiliate, I chatted with one of the radio hosts about his father. The conversation was another lesson on the power of continuity, Lesson 1 in my book, Aging Our Way, and a theme I spoke about at The Vital Aging conference in Saratoga Springs, NY. Read More

Want to Increase Sales? Invest in a Few Electric Shopping Carts

Gramps just reported that he spent $400 at Costco. “I would have been in and out with my walker, but they offered me one of those scooters. So we must have spent 90 minutes in there!” Read More

13 Lessons for Aging Well—Lesson 8

Newsflash! The oldest old in America care for their families, their communities, each other.

We’d expect the opposite, right? That the very old are cared for, not vice versa. But in the vast majority of cases, the evidence is there—all around you, to debunk this theory. Here are three elders featured in my book who care for others: Read More

13 Lessons for Aging Well—Lesson 7

Wouldn't we all be better off if we laughed more? Bill, at 95, believes that humor is the greatest medicine. He stands on his downtown front stoop and jokes with random passersby. He does the same thing at the grocery store and the bank. If he gets people laughing, he figures he's done his duty for the day. Read More

13 Lessons for Aging Well: Lesson 6

Barbara Dudley had a rash of dinner parties just before her death.

"There's no reason to wait until you're dead to have your funeral," Dudley told family and friends. "I'm having my funeral every day until I can't have it anymore." Read More

13 Lessons for Aging Well—Lesson 5

Do you ever find yourself thinking about who might attend your funeral? Read More

13 Lessons for Aging Well—Lesson 4

Lesson Four: Take Time for Self—Aging Our Way. This is the fourth in a 13-post series on living well, adapted from Aging Our Way: Lessons for Living from 85 and Beyond. Read More

13 Lessons for Aging Well—Lesson 3

The generation that came of age during the Great Depression learned how to live in moderation, and some are still practicing this ethic today. Read More

13 Lessons for Aging Well - Lesson 2

We read a lot about universal design for independent living these days, and how to make your home safer and more accessible. We imagine designers, contractors and consultants specializing in this type of work, and they do. But rarely do we imagine nonagenarians also doing the work of interior design as an extension of self-care. Read More

Betty White: 90, Proud, and Pranking

Just when we think she fits the "adorable grandmother figure" stereotype, Betty White socks it to us, as she should. In her non-threatening way, she's leading a movement to confront ageism in society, and we'll be all the better for it. Read More

30 Lessons from the Wisest Americans

Karl Pillemer is not your typical self-help guru. He's an internationally renowned gerontologist who has published for decades in health and medicine journals. But, at the age of 50, something changed. Read More

13 Lessons for Aging Well - Lesson 1

Lesson One: Continue to Do What You Did - Aging Our Way

This is the first in a 13- post series on living well, adapted from Aging Our Way: Lessons for Living from 85 and Beyond Read More

Max, at 94, Embraces Winter

I recently got a hold of a self-published book called "Getting to 94; Aging with Max and the Seasons." Inside, Max Schwartz and his daughter discuss unique wisdom and activities adapted for each month of the year. This photocopied book of wisdom is dedicated to "the instinct in all of us to ‘choose life.'" Read More

Alzheimer’s and Ethical Dilemmas

This Thanksgiving left me feeling like we had harmed a family member. I have since been meditating on ethical dilemmas associated with Alzheimer's Disease. Read More

Facebook for Seniors, by GE Healthcare?

GE Healthcare and Intel have a new "digital tablet for seniors" that can combat loneliness and enhance health. It looks easy to use. Large, blocky layout, personalized, with touch screen, and it even allows you to check the weather. Read More

“The Biggest Mistake of My 100 Years”

I have spent the last few weeks delivering books to the elders who inspired Aging Our Way. With each visit, I continue to learn about the friends I met five years ago. Read More

90-Somethings Are Multiplying, Especially the Ladies

According to a new Census Bureau report, the number of people living to age 90 and beyond has tripled in the past three decades to almost 2 million and is likely to quadruple by 2050. But we all know we're living longer, right?

Less known are the gender, race, and class patterns behind these Census Bureau figures. Read More

Why Do So Many Face Lifts Go Awry?

A few months ago, Morning Edition, NPR put together an unlikely pair of professionals, a physical anthropologist and a plastic surgeon, to understand why stretching the skin may not succeed in conveying youthfulness. Read More

LGBTQ Elders Back in the Closet

We all earn the right to be ourselves in our last years of life, at the very least. Right?

The new documentary, Generation Silent, asks six LGBT seniors if they will hide their lives to survive. Read More

A Good Death

A good death. What would it look like?

My students weighed in—outlining their ideal death scenarios including having family close-by, to emotional preparation and goodbyes, to a shot to the back of the head without warning. They were talking about the moment of death. But what about the dying process? Read More

Is America Ready for More Old Men?

Or so goes the title of the current debate in the opinion pages of the NYTimes. All of this hullabaloo comes out of a study that reports a narrowing gap between men and women in the 65+ category. While women tend to outnumber men in this age category, recent numbers show elder men catching up.

However, it is never this simple. Here are some highlights from the debate: Read More

Lesson Learned from Juana and Josie: Don’t Mess with a Good Thing

Every month my paycheck is a little less because of Medicare and Social Security. In my thirties, I find it difficult to truly appreciate what this contribution means down the line. But my friendships with elders like Juana and Josie have brought home for me how crucial these programs can be. Read More

Alice, and the Universal Need for Hugs

Walking into the community center, I saw an elder woman enjoying the Autumn sun, sitting on a bench. In a flash, she popped up, grasped my hand, and held it for 5 minutes as we walked together down the halls, talking. I had never met or seen her before. By the time we arrived at her destination, I had a new friend. Read More

Caregivers with Benefits

Paula Span's new article on the NYTimes "New Old Age Blog" discusses the health benefits of caregiving. Could it be that contrary to what we thought we knew, caregiving can also be beneficial to those who care for others, especially when it comes to brain health and memory? Read More

Moments of Hope in the Holocaust

The first time Joseph told me stories from the Holocaust, tears ran down his cheeks. But he had the momentum going, and he kept on it for some time. He told me he rarely shared these things. Read More