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Young adults are in the vanguard in carving a new and slower path to marriage. While the Boomers took early steps in changing the path to marriage, young adults have made this slower path the norm, with many options along the way. But the question now becomes: Are young adults unburdened by social expectations but overwhelmed by choices? Read More
weird
I find it interesting that, when given the choice, some women will have children before they are financially stable but they won't get married. I don't think having a child with somebody is a good enough reason to marry them but getting married can be relatively inexpensive. Why spend tens of thousands of dollars on a wedding when it's really only truly important to you? Why not get married in a courthouse and have a giant vow renewal ceremony when you can afford it?
weird
Hi Penelope--I've wondered that myself. Perhaps the big wedding is more of a symbol of how elevated marriage is in their eyes. They want the day to reflect the meaning that marriage holds for them--and therefore the day needs to be special, and splashy. Getting married in the courthouse seems a little pffft.
I'm jealous
Truth be told I wish my own wedding had been fancier. I got married in the courthouse shortly before leaving for Air Force basic training and I look back on it now and go, "Why did the judge let us get married in the that ugly room right by the bathrooms? Why didn't I think to put table cloths on the tables at our little reception?" However I would not have changed the amount of money that I spent on it, which was the price of the marriage license. PLUS all that really mattered was the way my husband looked into my eyes. He could have been standing on a heap of steaming garbage and I still would have married him.
I'm jealous
I, too, got married in City Hall, and the couple next to us waiting their turn was three-sheets to the wind and already fighting! Our judge, however, was wonderful--and did his best to put a personal touch on the day. In the end, we took a great trip and saved for a down payment. And we're still going strong, 24 years later.
not everyone has the option of marriage
your article is missing discussion of the gay marriage issue. you make reference to two parent households being more stable specifically when the parents are married, not just living together, ("...And in the United States, marriage [not living together] has the greatest chance of achieving relationship stability which leads to stability for children."), but do not point out that this is not a possible scenario for most gays & lesbians. it seems an egregious omission to not make reference to this, especially when making the point that marriage offers more stability and benefits for children.
not everyone has the option of marriage
Ack, I feel terrible for that omission. You're right--marriage is unfortunately not even on the table for gays and lesbians in most states. Hopefully that will soon change.
What's especially hard for researchers in studying cohabiting and marriage is that there is very little solid data on gay/lesbian couples. The census, I believe, is beginning to gather this information, but to date, the big national surveys have not collected a lot of data on this group. And when they do, the sample sizes are so small as to be unreliable, statistically. Hopefully that will change along with gay marriage!
So let me get this
So let me get this straight...if the parents are both there and involved but not married the children dont fare as well as parents who are involved with their children but are bound by a sheet of paper? I dont get it....I dont think marriage equals better children as much as parental involvement.
Why should the youth get married especially since the cons seem to outweigh the pros.
so let me get this...
You hit on the distinction that is critical: if both parents are there and involved for the long-term, the piece of paper matters less to children's outcomes. BUT, the problem (at least so far) is that these cohabiting relationships are typically unstable, and short. They last, on average, four-five years. Then they break up, and it is the break-ups and new relationships that are hard on kids. Particularly in less economically stable families, the stresses and strains put pressure on relationships, making them harder to maintain. Of course, the marriage license doesn't guarantee a long-term marriage either. So maybe what we should be focused on is less about walking down the aisle and more about creating solid foundations for long-term relationships.
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