I love the radio program This American Life, and earlier this summer I was absolutely wowed by a story by Ted Gesing, a documentary producer in Brooklyn, NY who currently works with Frontline, the current affairs series on PBS. Ted was telling the story of Mike Nyberg, a father in Utah. (Please note, it was Mr. Nyberg who actually wowed me, and you'll quickly hear why when you listen.)
This is how This American Life describes the piece, called "Where’s King Solomon When You Need Him?":
"Reporter Ted Gesing interviews Mike Nyberg about adopting a little girl from Samoa, only to learn over time that her Samoan family had no intention of giving her up for adoption. The US adoption agency had told the Nybergs that their adoption would be closed, and that their little girl Elleia had been living in a foster home waiting for adoptive parents; but in Samoa, Elleia's parents were told that their daughter could come to the US and receive a better education, and that the adoptive family would send money and regular updates on their daughter's progress. The whole situation leaves the Nybergs trying to find their way through sticky moral territory."
According to an article by Lisa Rosetta, in the Salt Lake Tribune, the Utah-based adoption agency Focus on Children is said to have tricked families into giving up their children for permanent adoptions, and likewise purposefully mislead (tricked you could say as well) adopting families.
Ted Gesing was kind enough to answer my questions about the process of making the piece, about the issues it arose in him as he did, and what he learned in the process. On my behalf, Ted tried to reach Mike Nyberg to weigh in, but Mr. Nyberg did not respond to queries.
Meredith: There are always many themes around creating a family. When it came to adoption, however, I never imagined--for myself or others--that letting go would play such a prominent role. The family you profiled in your piece ultimately lets go and delivers their child back to her family of origin. As a documentary maker, what was most striking to you about the father as he went through this process (or what you observed in interviewing him)? What was the quality that enabled him to do this, etc.
TED GESING: The most striking thing about Mike Nyberg has always been that he had made the decision to let Elleia go. I think at first pass, when we hear the story, we think good, he did the ethical thing. And then you think about it some more and you try to put yourself in the role of an adoptive parent and it becomes much more of a question - Did he do right by this kid? Did he do right by his own family? I started to wonder if his altruism had backfired - if his rational ethics had overpowered the most basic of parenting urges, to hold and protect. That was the question that drove the story and my investigation - how do you decide what is right when all directions lead to heartbreak?
Mike went to incredible lengths to synthesize everyone's suffering in his decision, and on that level he's braver than most of us would have been in the same situation. I think it all stems from his deep sense of compassion and his confidence in the power of justice.
Meredith: As a documentary/film maker, what is it about adoption in general that was most fascinating for you to want to explore it? Was it the particular story? It's such a compelling one. In regards to the story, what stuck with you - or surprised you - long after the piece was completed?
TED GESING: I had explored international adoption at length before I found this story. It's a newsworthy subject with so much at play because of Hague treaty compliance, and it was obviously ripe subject matter for complex, emotional stories. I was mostly looking at countries like Guatemala and Vietnam when I stumbled across a piece about the Nybergs in the Salt Lake Tribune. And then when I spoke to Mike, it was clear to me that his story was worth telling. But it was a year before I found a home for the story, and the sentencing in February was really the first opportunity. There'd been a gag order on the Focus on Children case until the sentencing, and I felt it was critical to speak to prosecutors and other families, even though the heart of the story is Mike's own experience.
Meredith: The concept or "institution" of adoption highlights many polarities: abandonment and inclusion; love and loss; for example, and your story brings these into sharp focus. Where there any dichotomies or polarities you had not realized existed?
TED GESING: I hadn't understood enough about adoption to think about it terms of those dichotomies, but I understand exactly why you frame it in those terms. I have much more profound respect now for everyone who has been through the adoption process, in any role.
Meredith: Is there anything in particular that you learned about yourself in the process of documenting another man's story?
TED GESING: I learned a lot in the process of producing this piece. I learned about my own skill sets and how TV producing compares to radio producing. But most of all I learned a lot about asking difficult intimate questions of near strangers, very much part of the process for any story about a parent's love for his child. It took a real dialogue with these parents, tough but extremely heartfelt, and that required me to open up emotionally in ways I haven't for past stories. I'm glad I've had that experience and I know it makes me a better reporter.
