This is the first in an occasional series of interviews with individuals whose notable creative work encompasses a unique story of adoption, family, and love--and finding one's truth.
Janis Cooke Newman is the author of The Russian Word for Snow, a memoir about adopting her son which People called "A nail-biting adoption saga with a happy ending." She is also the author of Mary, which was named by USA Today as Best Historical Novel of 2006, and was a finalist for the Los Angeles Times Book Prize. Janis lives in San Francisco, where she teaches writing. Visit her website for more information.
Meredith: Your memoir of motherhood has the dimension of adoption. In fact, it is the question, Will the adoption ever be finalized? that ultimately, drives the narrative. It's been more than a decade since you brought your son home. Was there a time when you noticed the narrative changed-in other words, that adoption stopped being the focus it once was for you?
JANIS: Pretty much the minute I got my son home, I stopped focusing on his adoption, and started focusing on more pressing concerns, such as finding the time to take a shower. I think that once you have your child, thinking about his adoption all the time would be like a non-adoptive mom thinking about her pregnancy all the time. What becomes important isn't how your child got there, just that he or she did.
In fact, by the time I sat down to write The Russian Word for Snow, when Alex was 3, I had to work at remembering how it felt to go through the adoption process. (Maybe it's the same selective amnesia that causes women to forget the pain of labor?)
Meredith: Our lives, like our stories, have themes. Was there a theme to your adoption? In other words, did certain topics/issues/questions keep coming up between you and your son?
JANIS: Perhaps because I wrote a book about the experience, or perhaps because the book is the most tangible thing about Alex's adoption, I think that has become its theme. When we talk about his adoption--which frankly, is very rare these days (Alex is much more interested in Facebook, his iPod, and how his hair looks)--it's mostly in the context of the book. Which, by the way, he seems to believe makes him semi-famous. (Apparently, my son believes many more people bought my book than actually did.)
Meredith: We have many readers who are waiting an exceptional amount of time to adopt a child. The waiting period can be very tough when information is not forthcoming-and sometimes, even when it is. What would you like them to know, or think about during their wait. What kept you going through yours?
JANIS: I liked to remind myself of the Buddhist concept that all things must end-including the waiting. Which makes me sound much more Zen than I am. I also had a full assortment of weird little tics and rituals: A horseshoe I would touch every day for luck; Guatemalan worry dolls I put under my pillow every night; A Polaroid taken from the first video we ever saw of Alex that I wouldn't let anybody remove from the refrigerator door. My advice is do whatever completely illogical thing makes you feel like you have some actual control over this process. And remember that the waiting will end.
