Addiction in Society

Thers is an article against aa-sprituality that is very new. BTW, the first scientific that did call Ken Rage a resource. If ya think "orange-papers" is lame - have a looh at more-revaled (dot) com.

I actually really like Brand. True, he's probably a bit misinformed about addiction, but who isn't? There are so many conflicting opinions among addiction experts. He does articulate the experience of addiction in a refreshingly poetic way, however. I think that, if it is true that Brand's addictions have resurfaced, we shouldn't deride him for it. We shouldn't just condescendingly point to him as an example of why 12 step programs and spirituality don't work for addiction recovery. Rather, we should empathize with him and see it as an opportunity to educate the public on what actually does work for addiction recovery. Sometimes I feel as if the experts in the field of addiction recovery don't actually care about the victims of addiction; they just care about proving that they're right and everyone else is wrong.

I think perhaps he was a born-again ex-addict, been there, done that and was ready to settle down (he is 36 after all). Whereas Perry is still young and up for some fun, assuming after all she had read about him that he shared her views, and was sadly disappointed to find he was now a bit too middle-aged and dull for her liking. I did read that he wanted her to start having kids and she wasn't having a bar of it.
(Although obviously if he was still the party animal he wouldn't have got married in the first place.)

Yep he is no expert, he is human.

He fell for a girl who likes to show her cleavage and was brought up evangelical, obviously as messed up as he is about what sex is meant to be.
He is a clever man but an exhibitionist who gets verbal diarrhoea when a microphone is shoved near his mouth. As a stand-up comic he is funny.

He probably fell in love and tried to save her from the clutches of her evangelical parents and their messed ideas of sex. Took her to Khajuraho to show her that you should get your ideas of sex from the Kama Sutra instead of the good book, and that spirituality and sex can mix. Finding your sexuality for a woman is hard enough, but between these 2 extremes and the world watching your every move it gets harder. When she failed to get it, he showed her “real” face to the world and her fans on Twitter. So after years of objectifying women to polish his ego, he still humiliates the woman he “loves” when she does not do what she wants.

He did not hit on Lady Gaga, she would have had his game early on. She may be showing her bosom freely, but as sex goes, is is not a language she uses to express self-loathing.

So after years of objectifying women to polish his ego, he still humiliates the woman he “loves” when she does not do what HE wants.

He did not hit on Lady Gaga, she would have had his game early on. She may be showing her bosom freely, but as sex goes, IT is not a language she uses to express self-loathing.

lord my typing is bad early in the morning. sorry

@Dr. Peele, I disagree that he was sanctimonious about Ms. Winehouse. In fact, I believe he treated the matter with a lot more sensitivity than many people and media outlets. I agree with you that the programs he championed in his tribute couldn't have saved her. And, yes, one could even argue that treatment ineffectiveness led to Ms. Winehouse's death (I'm not even sure if she tried 12 Step). Although, in my humble opinion, it was treatment ineffectiveness mixed with the public's shaming of her condition that led to her death.

Either way, in both Brand's written tribute and his MTV tribute to Ms. Winehouse, the general message is for addicts to reach out for help and for the public to change the way they treat addicts. And yes, I agree with him that addicts should reach out for help; perhaps they should look for Life Process Programs rather than 12 Step Programs though. I also agree with him that the public needs to change how they treat addicts; therefore, again, I think that we shouldn't deride Brand for his failed marriage or his misunderstanding of addiction recovery.

do re mi,

Just fyi, the Bible totally celebrates hot sex...within marriage. That's what Song of Solomon is all about (which even describes cunilingus).

Further, with the explosion of knowledge in the past few years about biochemistry and neurophysiology, Christians are spreading awareness of how important healthy (and hot) sex within marriage is for maintaining the bondedness promoted by the oxytocins released during orgasm.

I don't know specifically about Perry and her own philosophies, but if her evangelical pastor parents are abreast of the oldest (Old Testament) AND the newest on sex within marriage, and this knowledge was disseminated to her, then you may be mistaken about the root of the sexual dysfunction you assume and describe.

Or you may have first hand knowledge and be right, which would be too bad, since again, Christians actually promote a very healthy and hot sex life within marriage.

do re mi,

I was not promoting the Bible. I was simply pointing out that your supposition that if one believes the roadmap for living a good life is contained within the Bible, then one will have a dysfunctional sex life, is inaccurate.

So, you missed my point, entirely.

(Another point that many miss: Both Adam and Eve caused the fall, not just Eve.)

Over the long term, for many reasons in the mind/body connection, sleeping around, for both genders, often (but not always) renders one limited in one's capacity to love, if love is defined as the ability to bond deeply for the long term, not just attach briefly. Promiscuity is one of the markers of malignant narcissism. Another is the ability to attach, but not bond.

One's priorities are one's own prerogative. If men are, as you state, losing out by having to marry to have sex, then men can choose to not marry.

However, if one wants to have children one day, then the most nurturing context for children to be raised is within a two parent team, stabilized by a succinct agreement - the marriage contract.

Per the Pressmans of Rhode Island, who wrote "The Narcissistic Family, Diagnosis and Treatment," (among all others who write about the spectrum including narcissism, sociopathy, and psychopathy), when children are not properly nurtured, they're more vulnerable to becoming the next generation of narcissists - those whose cores have not been properly infilled, and therefore those who stay arrested at an immature level of emotional development (stuck in self-reference and selfishness).

So, there is a correlation between sleeping around and the inability to bond deeply over the long term - two markers of narcissism.

A bad circular and compounding problem, indeed.

Oh - generally, narcissists don't hate themselves. They love themselves and their own agendas, regardless of how they harm others. They are self-centered, not other-centered. And, you speak as if one's sex drive is uncontrollable, which, in our species, is inaccurate. (However, to one arrested at a young emotional age, it feels as if one's sex drive is uncontrollable.)

It's simply a matter of priorities, overlaying thought on top of carnality, and weighing the long term in addition to the short term.

We are increasingly a culture of short term thinking - another marker of narcissism.

(The Bible, btw, encourages long term thinking.)

do re mi,

You said:

"You don’t need marriage raise children. A committed relationship is enough.
I am not promoting promiscuity, I am promoting a safe, healthy and hot sex life without being married."

A wise (and funny) man said to me once: "There are two things men care about, and they're both in their pants - their penises and their wallets."

Even though women can earn more money than their male mates, (as is the case with Perry and Brand, it's reported), we will never have true equality until men can get pregnant, bear children, and nurture them with breast milk. (It takes a lot out of a woman to bear children.) We will also not have true equality until the female on male and child rape rate equals the male on female and child rape rate.

Even though testosterone-heavy females are raping others at higher rates today, perpetrators of rape are still vastly male, not female. When tracing it all the way back to the root, rape is the source of much, much dysfunction, sometimes several generations down the line.

In the case that the couple desires children, the marriage contract is an illustration of a man displaying, with actions, that he commits to the relationship. The two are intricately intertwined, in most (but not all) cases.

What you say smacks of wanting to have your cake and eat it too - a marker of narrow-viewed reasoning, as is your purporting to know how all fundamentalist Christians (a hate term, by today's standards) interpret the Bible.

Abigail,

I forgot to ask, what is your definition of promiscuous? It might be different than mine.
A Hollywood marriage by 2 ambitious show-offs might be more open than a civilian’s one.

Checked out the Song of Solomon to fight my narrow view of life. My Sunday school days were long ago ( and I got kicked out for insolence)
Yes it says that getting your lips near the nether regions of your spouse is advisable. So if your spouse doesn’t, you can take him/her to your religious leader.

The thing is that many people are bought up with a bag of body hang-ups that may require more than a song to clear up. I was bought up with the notion that men should sleep around ( good for them) and women should remain virginal to be married ( as they don’t marry sluts)and it was their jobs to show you how to get off. I did ask my mother if all the men slept around ( we lived in a small village) and obviously not with the same women, where would they find pure women. That did not go down well. My friend, older, is 65, Irish and devout, is married, you can show her husband the Song, he is not going to change his mind, he does not do that as he finds women bits ugly and disgusting, that is his upbringing. She lives with it and she finds herself too old to check Betty Dodson.

Young women have now other hang ups about their body, the porn industry revolutionised by the Internet is adding new ones, yet good old Betty is available on the net too to change challenge stupid ideas.

Hello do re mi,
" I had to shook my head saying, 'Something has happened to you I don't [fully*] understand. But you had better hang on it.' "

*There is obvious more focus, straight-ness and humor. Plus, thats wise, you dont have to put others down but rather be self-centered.
! BUT been over-average ever, the boost - lets say its 300% - is totally stunning !

A lil' bit ironic I out-commented you, claiming: "I'm glad to meet you"?

I wouldn't go into infight w/o proper preperation, IE I dont go into any infight at all, I'd rather claim you're one of my allies.