Three Theories of Sexual Behavior

Pictures of an attractive man I plucked at random from the Internet - wonder what his job is?

I know PT blog readers are frequently disappointed with the contributions of bloggers - well, with mine in particular - because they are not weighty, serious, and scientific enough (for example, labeling Bob Dylan demented-looking, asking why Obama talks sexually about his daughters, saying we should bomb Spain to eliminate alcoholism, and talking about the decades of failure of addictive reductionism - oh wait, that one's serious!).

So I propose here three theories of sexual behavior based on the data provided by upstate New York Congressmen. As readers may be aware, Democratic New York Congressman Eric Massa resigned last year over his inappropriate touching of his male aides. Yesterday, Republican New York Congressman Christopher Lee resigned after it was revealed he was looking for dates at an Internet social site and sent out a seminude picture to a woman. Both Congressmen were married; Mr. Lee is a strong defender of traditional sexual and social values (he voted against repealing Don't Ask Don't Tell) - way to uphold the institution of marriage, Congressman!

Based on these data points, I have have formulated the following theories:

(1) All men are sexual predators. I mean, if the most valued and prominent members of our society are looking for illicit sex, maybe that simply means that this is how all men behave when given the chance. As my mother told my sister, "Men are animals!"

(2) All politicians are predators. Another way of looking at it is that powerful men either (a) figure it is their prerogative to go after extra sex - why else did they run for office (see John Edwards), or (b) the most sexually voracious men are the ones who rise to the top politically - both behaviors resultng from excess testosterone.

(3) All upstate New York congressmen - and those from comparable regions of the country - are on the prowl. Something about living in places famous for down-to-earth, conservative values causes men to welcome any illicit sex they can grab (the explanatory mechanism may be either boredom or hypocrisy).

So - I think you can see - I am creating universal psycho-sexual theories that will stand the test of time like Freud's have (although I don't believe Freud every visited Albany, Buffalo, or Syracuse). My mother would be so proud!

Oh - have I told you my theory of testosterone-driven athletes that I fashioned based on the behavior of New York Jet quarterbacks? Here are the illustrations:

Q.E.D.