Hi Stanton...

your closing thought: "But we may always wonder what is on the stand-by-their-men wives' minds."

Dostoevsky, I think, once said: "when you love somebody, you share their fate..."

image-management or loving/all-embracing/compassionate acceptance/forgiveness of partner's imperfections?

Pavel

Let's consider: Public humiliation becomes "the damned if she does and damned if she doesn't leave him" tie that binds. In a less high-profile relationship, say your neighbors' marriage, an affair isn't some huge scandal. It's an ugly fact of marriage that happens more frequently than any of us care to admit. (Incidentally, I don't think it's very democratic of Americans to demand our elected officials-"of the people"-to abide by a critical higher moral standard than we ourselves.) Be that as it may, in the relationship-next-door, an affair (especially a short fling ilke a rump with a call girl) isn't usually cause for a divorce. It's a skeleton in the family's collective closet. Who are we to consider Silda and other political wives anomalies? The differing factor is the amount of people who know what went on. So, does that mean that a marriage should end according to how many people know of the wrong you've done or according to actual wrong-doing? After considering that, how many marriages should be roadkill right now if we were really as moral as we like to pretend to be?

Totally agree with that, look at what happened with Bill and Hillary Clinton. They relate a private matter that really has nothing to do with their jobs to interfere with all the good work they have done. Bill Clinton's presidency almost became destroyed due to a skeleton in the closet, and his wife is still facing the fire for the illicit affair that had happened. She and the other wives eventually would have to have a sense of humor about it (or at least of it being of the past), or their lives would be miserable since they're facing the constant reminders of the American public everyday. Of course these leaders are expected to make an example of the American people, but what better way than to admit their mistakes and try to move on with their careers, not to mention their family lives? It took much bravery for these wives to stand by their husbands in front of all those people even though there are other factors involved. If more married people took the time to forgive mistakes from their spouses, perhaps there'd be a lower divorce rate.

I don't think we can ignore the fact that differences exist between what attracts men and women to each other. Initial attraction is the thing that first sparks a relationship an even when the relationship becomes deeper and more developed, that initial attraction is never forgotten. Some women like men in positions of power. I personally don't get it, but you see it all of the time. If that attraction is a big reason for entering into a marriage people will likely work hard to protect it. Perhaps Silda Spitzer would have a harder time sticking it out if her husband had arbitrarily decided to quit his powerful job and become a reclusive novelist? Fidelity is usually desirable, but who is to say it is a necessity for marital success? The Spitzer marriage was built on it's own unique foundation. Apparently that foundation is still enough in-tact to continue on.

Greed, Ego and Infidelity. Why don't we just keep on justifying it. How about about we start justifying abuse, addiction and disrespect while we are at it.