ABCs of Child Psychiatry

Real info about children's mental health

Tiger-Attachment-Duct Tape Parenting

What to do with all of the parenting advice that is out there right now? Here is a weird idea….think about what comes most easily to us as parents and make an effort to go in the OPPOSITE direction. Read More

Too many people

(even "experts" evidently) make the knee jerk assessment that Attachment Parenting is devoid of discipline. Nothing could be farther from the truth. (As if loving and respecting your children prevents you from teaching them manners; what a silly assumption.)

Most parents who practice true Attachment Parenting and those who teach and advocate it know that discipline begins at the breast, on the first day of life (when applicable) when the baby learns that their needs will be met and Trust is begun when the Child realizes his needs WILL be met!

Many good Attachment Parents have honest strict households, where children are held to be responsible for their actions, have chores and responsibilities, learn good respect for other people and learn that Trust goes both ways; from Child to Parent and from Parent to Child.

As someone who has taught Attachment Parenting and attached well to my own children, I always say to other parents I'm teaching, "Just because your child doesn't want to do something they really need to do and you insist that they do it doesn't mean that any harm will come to them, in fact it is often good for them."

Often, Attachment Households tend to have more children than other families (not always, but often) and most parents of multiple children know that good discipline is important to a healthy happy family.

The word "Discipline" has its roots in the word "to teach." Not "to harm" not "to hit" not "to scream at." To Teach.

When Trust (and love) runs between all in a household, discipline comes as intuitively (usually) as love. As Teaching is a integral part of any good parenting regimen, this good, healthy, NON-violent discipline is included.

In fact, I've seen too many Authoritarian parents lax in the actual Trust Based Discipline department than any Attachment Parenting run household.

One can not truly discipline someone who doesn't trust you. One can certainly bully then into parroting certain behaviors, or prevent them from performing certain behaviors in FRONT of their parents, but as Discipline IS Teaching, and Trust needs to be there for any type of teaching to be effective, Love, Trust and Attachment need to be present for any effective learning (and thus actual ingrained discipline) to take place.

No kidding, Maggie! I

No kidding, Maggie! I sometimes visit a pro-attachment parenting message board, and when the occasional newbie comes in asking, "At what age should I start disciplining my child?" all the attachment parents seem kind of baffled and answer something like, "The day that he's born."

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David Rettew, M.D., is a child psychiatrist at the University of Vermont and author of Child Temperament: New Thinking about the Boundary between Traits and Illness.


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