I was recently interviewed by Psychology Today blogger, Dr. Hendrie Weisinger for The Huffington Post. Our conversation focused on taking care of one's parents, as well as issues that baby boomers are facing about their own aging. The first comment in response to our dialogue was, "I hear you doc, but most of the folks here are too young and haven't traveled that route yet."
This remark reminds me of the commonplace attitude of denying aging, or at the very least, the tendency toward procrastinating necessary adaptations in lifestyle as we grow older. Ignoring the aging process and its accompanying vulnerability is not only common, but normal. Particularly in their 20s and 30s, people tend to not think about getting older while they're busy trying to get established in their lives. Younger people (who are healthy) are inclined to avoid acknowledging the limits of their bodies-- this is why so many behaviors considered "self-destructive" are most prevalent in younger generations.
Thinking too much about death and vulnerability can certainly have its negative effects. Consider how this is reflected in popular culture, say in Woody Allen's movie, Whatever Works. The main character, Boris, wakes up in the middle of the night having a panic attack because he realizes that he'll eventually die. Obviously, none of us could function if we spent all day (or night) thinking about our own death, which is why we find the neurotic characters in Woody Allen films so comical-- we see subtle similarities in ourselves.
But there are disadvantages to denying the commonly shared fate of the human condition. Denial can cause people to neglect their own bodies. Smokers exemplify this trait, particularly those who continue to smoke well into their later years. Yet denial regarding smoking is difficult to combat. So much so, that a recent article described how attempts to alter cigarette packages with more ominous warnings (e.g., "Smoking can kill you") could potentially be counterproductive because of the need to downplay anxiety about death. The study suggests that since denial is so powerful, attempts to confront this fear will be met with, well, even more denial.
However, there are many other ways that ignoring the signs of aging can lead to potential health problems. This can be seen in middle-age runners who don't integrate cross training into their exercise regimen when their knees and hips start to hurt; or when women, to be fashionable, squeeze their feet into stylish four-inch heels, even when it's painful. Such "little things" often lead to injuries or problems that could be simply solved by behavioral changes as well as a heightened awareness of one's own body. And although behavioral modification is precisely what's needed in many cases (changing dietary habits, altering exercise, quitting smoking, wearing flats), in order to do the things we have to do to take care of ourselves, we need to begin by accepting that as we age, we need to do things differently. But like many things involved with human psychology, this is much easier said than done. The "blows" related to our physical parameters are difficult for some and unbearable for others. Tolerating the decline of a formerly youthful body is hard to accept, but we will be much better off if we can come to terms with the reality of our bodies' limitations.
So, although I appreciate the argument of "We aren't there yet," the real struggle of adulthood is to integrate the experience of aging with being able to get the most we can out of life, with all of our strengths and limits.
I would love to hear from you about this topic. What do you do to balance the inevitability of getting older with going on living and enjoying life?
