Final Analysis: 2012

*all are actually holidays

JANUARY

Personal Self-Defense Awareness Month

Hold yourself hostage, then kick yourself in the face and escape.

FEBRUARY

Time Management Month

"Umm...are you sure Leap Year doesn't make it 30 days?"

MARCH

Sing with Your Child Month

March 1-14: show tunes; March 15-30: heavy metal; March 31: Gargle with salt water and drink plenty of hot tea with lemon and ginger.

APRIL

Youth Sports Safety Month

This month only: paintball guns filled with love!

MAY

Get Caught Reading Month

Walk across town with a newspaper wrapped around your face.

JUNE

Accordion Awareness Month

Go to a music store and write a thank you card to a different accordion every day.

JULY

Doghouse Repairs Month

Finally get around to sandblasting the stucco ceiling in your Airedale's master bedroom.

AUGUST

Audio Appreciation Month

Whenever you hear a sound, make one back.

Find a Therapist

Search for a mental health professional near you.

SEPTEMBER

Subliminal Communications Month

Yup. Exactly!

OCTOBER

Self-Promotion Month

Listen to my podcast where I talk about blogging about my tweets!

NOVEMBER

Gluten-Free Diet Awareness Month

Go to the mall, knock over the "Just Gluten" kiosk, celebrate with an almond.

DECEMBER

Spiritual Literacy Month

Make a banner that says "I before E, except if God doesn't want it to be!"

Current Issue

Let It Go!

It can take a radical reboot to get past old hurts and injustices.