*all are actually holidays
Personal Self-Defense Awareness Month
Hold yourself hostage, then kick yourself in the face and escape.
Time Management Month
"Umm...are you sure Leap Year doesn't make it 30 days?"
Sing with Your Child Month
March 1-14: show tunes; March 15-30: heavy metal; March 31: Gargle with salt water and drink plenty of hot tea with lemon and ginger.
Youth Sports Safety Month
This month only: paintball guns filled with love!
Get Caught Reading Month
Walk across town with a newspaper wrapped around your face.
Accordion Awareness Month
Go to a music store and write a thank you card to a different accordion every day.