I'm 52, never married, but have been with the love of my life for 8 years. He's 45, divorced, with no kids. He said I was the love of his life, too. Three weeks ago he told me he feels like we have become "just friends." I'm shocked. He's lost 50 pounds working out, to look like he did in college. I don't believe there is another woman. Because of our jobs, we don't spend as much time together as we used to. Like other couples, we have work stress; it's not champagne and roses every day. There is a big commitment—we live together and own a second home together. He has said he needs "to figure our situation out." I'm not sure how to respond.
A midlife crisis doesn't require another woman, although many have risen to the occasion. Sooner or later, every person confronts himself or herself at midlife. It's often a private realization. Perhaps a worrisome symptom of age debuts—a stiff joint, a chest twinge. Or a parent dies. Maybe one's career has stalled at a low orbit. You wake up one morning, discover that life has settled into a dull routine before you've realized all your dreams, and you wonder: Is this all there is? Either you confront yourself and dismantle the internal barriers to growth or you look externally for a way to jump-start some thrills (the Porsche, the new associate in your department), often blaming your partner for failing to keep your life full of excitement.
