The Road to Happiness

The answers are no, no, no, and no. Wealth is like health. Its utter absence can make you miserable. But once your real needs are met, having more provides diminishing emotional dividends. A boost in income or possessions can make us happy temporarily. But soon we adapt, and begin lusting for a bigger fix.

Compared to 1960, the America of today has doubled spending power (thanks partly to the great increase in women's employment). We also have twice as many cars per person, color TVs, VCRs, microwaves, answering machines, computers, and $12 billion a year worth of brand-name athletic shoes.

But what has this economic growth meant for morale? Over the same period, depression rates have soared. Teen suicide has tripled. Divorce rates have doubled. The percentage of children born to single parents has sextupled (pun intended). The violent crime rate has boomed. Surely Al Gore was correct when he wrote that "the accumulation of material goods is at an all-time high, but so is the number of people who feel an emptiness in their lives."

We've not only come to place greater emphasis on money and possessions, but also on the pursuit of individual self-realization. The pop psychology of our age urges us to "get in touch with yourself. Accept yourself. Be true to yourself. Assert your individual rights." Carl Rogers expressed our individualism: "The only question which matters is, 'Am I living in a way which...truly expresses me?'"

But as we finish this millennium, one hears voices, including many feminists and those familiar with Asian and Third World countries, saying that the current definition of happiness is not only too materialistic but also too individualistic. It's good to accept ourselves. But it's also good to value close relationships, to be sensitive and responsive to others, to give and receive support. To be interdependent, not just independent.

And it's good--as the new communitarian movement insists--to balance our celebration of individual rights with a parallel concern for social responsibilities and well-being. We need to define a ground between "me-thinking" and "we-thinking."

A Portfolio

Alex C. Michalos, Ph.D., University of Guelph, Ontario

I define happiness as a relatively long-lasting, positive feeling and attitude. From my research, the best way to get there is to have a portfolio of desires and interests--some short-range goals and some long-range goals. The short ones so that you can get small pleasures on a fairly routine basis with relatively low cost, and the longer ones so that you have something to look forward to and to go after in life.

Short-run pleasures, for instance, might include music. In my case, I like Motown music, and I have some records and tapes around that I like to listen to. For longer-term pleasure, I'm a feminist, so I work in little ways for the achievement of equal opportunity for women.

It's very important to keep this portfolio going, not to let these interests die out in light of other aspects of your life, such as work They must also be realistic--an interest in music is one thing; dreaming of becoming a rock star will not likely land you to happiness unless you're one in a million. When people get a good assessment of what is possible and want those things that are ultimately achievable--and then begin to close the gap between the two--they find ultimate happiness.

I conducted a survey of 18,000 undergraduates in 39 countries and found that married students, particularly married women, were the happiest. Second happiest were married males, third were unmarried females, and the least happy of the lot were unmarried males. The most important factor in happiness is good interpersonal relations--with friends, family, lovers, etc. They contribute the biggest bang in terms of happiness, and are much more important than income, for instance, or looks. Next to relations, self-esteem is also important, as is physical health.