Ordinary Pleasures
Happiness, ventured William James, the noted 19th century philosopher/psychologist, is reflected in the ratio of one's accomplishments to one's aspirations. This suggests, of course, that when it comes to feeling happy in our lives, we can choose one of two paths: continually add to our list of accomplishments--or lower our expectations.
Since then, researchers have suggested new definitions of happiness and how we should go about getting there. In their attempt to understand and quantify the state of "subjective well-being" (lab-speak for happiness), a new ratio/question has emerged: How many positive vs. negative experiences must people have before they can call themselves genuinely "happy"?
The general consensus of current research is that happiness is greatest when we combine frequent numbers of good experiences with a few very intense ones. The good experiences may include, for example, having a good, productive job, a caring spouse or romantic partner, and several hobbies or interests that one takes pleasure in. An occasional romantic getaway weekend, the birth of a new child, or garnering recognition for some personal or professional deed would satisfy the need for intense pleasures.
Yet, to feel happy, our focus nevertheless needs to be on the frequency, not the intensity, of positive events in our lives. Learning how to take pleasure in the littler victories, recognizing their importance in our lives, and working hard to minimize the negatives will accomplish more than waiting around for a burst of intense pleasure. When we place an overriding emphasis on the "big moments," we run the risk of disillusionment and disappointment--we miss out on the very things that do the scut work of happiness.
While there appears to be no one route to happiness, information gathered by researchers from interviews with thousands of subjects of varying ages, economic backgrounds, education level, age, sex, and cultural origin suggests that there are steps we can take to improve our overall satisfaction and well-being. To describe them for you, we sought out four top happiness researchers from across the United States and Canada.
We asked all of them the same five questions:
o How do you define happiness?
o What are the best ways to get there?
o Who is happy...happier...happiest?
o What doesn't lead to happiness (that we mistakenly think will)?
o Has the definition of happiness changed significantly over the last few decades?
Drawing on self-report scales, longitudinal studies, and clinical interviews with thousands of subjects, the following experts offer some practical advice on the subtle art of feeling good.
Mastery Counts
John Reich, Ph.D., Arizona State University
Based on clinical interviews and self-report measures I've initiated and studied, I believe that happiness is being aware not only of the positive events that occur in your life but also that you yourself are the cause of these events--that you can create them, that you control their occurrence, and that you play a major role in the good things that happen to you. Of course, though to a lesser degree, happiness is also the awareness that you can prevent negative events from happening. This sense of mastery over both the good and bad events in your life contributes to an overall sense of well-being.
As far as the best ways to get there, I would say that attempting to cause as many positive events as you feel capable of--and being successful at most of them--is the quickest and most effective way to achieve happiness. Naturally, this requires a certain amount of skill. First of all, and this may not be as easy as it sounds, you need to know what it is that really makes you happy. It probably isn't earning a lot of money, though that may be true. And it can be something as simple as finding a good book to sailing around the world. Whatever these "happy triggers" are, chances are they'll be a spectrum of causes from the small to the huge.
Second, once you've identified what it is that makes you happy, you need to know how to create such events. We may all enjoy spending time with our loved ones, but coming up with romantic ideas has always been a problem for many couples. Third, there's the motivation required to put them into action, to actually go ahead and make the attempt--search the bookstores for a good novel, call the bed & breakfast for reservations, and so on. And, of course, the same criteria apply when we attempt to avoid negativity in our lives.
The happiest people are not only able but also motivated to make good things happen in their lives--and are somewhat successful in their endeavors. Less motivated people are less happy, simply put. Trying to ignore negative events, or simply forgetting about them after they've occurred, will not remove their unhappy effect on your life. To the extent that they are present, or their memories are, you'll still feel unhappy, or significantly less happy than you could be feeling.
Finally, a common error many people tend to make when they think about things that would make them happier is to believe that simply having positive events happen in their lives--without utilizing their skill or motivation in bringing them about--will lead to happiness. Not true. Winning a lottery may make you happy for a short while, but a random event, occurring without our input, will not create long-term happiness. We need the sense of mastery, of control; the feeling that something good has happened because we caused it to happen.
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