A seismic shift in gender roles is turning men into objects of
desire--much as women have traditionally been. At the leading edge of
this social revolution, a very select group of women care--unusually
stringently--about men's bodies. Increasingly, men are running into a
double standard of attractiveness--what women like about men's bodies and
what men think is manly.
Men don't look like they used to. Think of Fabio. Arnold
Schwarzenegger. Or the countless men who, in cologne ads, lie like
languid odalisques on sandy beaches. In movies, heartthrobs from Alec
Baldwin to Keanu Reeves are seen shirtless, with rippling pecs and lats;
on fashion runways male models in skin-tight tanks and jackets unbuttoned
to flaunt washboard bellies pace before cheering crowds.
"There's coming to be an acceptance of men as sex objects, men as
beautiful," reports fashion arbiter Holly Brubach, style editor for the
New York Times Magazine. Male mannequins now sport genital bulges and
larger chests, and for the first time in window-dressing history, have
achieved equality with female mannequins. The male body is even being
used to sell cars, no doubt to both men and women: "If the beautiful
lines of the new Monte Carlo seem somehow familiar, they should," reads a
current ad. "After all, we borrowed them from you." Above the caption,
melting photos show the classic waistline of a woman, curving leather,
and the sinewy torso of a naked man. A closer look at each photo reveals
a masterful blend of male and female images, of shadowy clefts and
powerful bulges.
I've always loved to look at men. There is power in a certain kind
of masculine beauty, and it's a turn on. Am I alone? No, according to the
first national survey ever of men's appearance and how they feel about
it, collected from Psychology Today readers. It turns out that the world
indeed is changing, and that there is now a subset of women who
themselves are attractive, educated, and financially secure, who care
about every aspect of the way their men look. They can choose
good-looking men, and they do.
Those women, by the way, are currently a minority. Still, all
revolutions begin with a band of pioneers. And when I look around at
what's happening in the culture, I sense a sea change.
The male body has arrived. Not only is it being offered up for
scrutiny, it seems to be both hypermasculine and strangely feminine, a
new mix that accurately reflects tremendous and ambivalent changes in our
culture.
What's happening to men's bodies--and how do both men and women
feel about it? In Psychology Today's November/December 1993 issue, we
asked our readers to help us delineate what seems to be a seismic shift
in male body image. Over 1,500 of you responded with completed
questionnaires and comments, which were analyzed in depth by psychiatrist
Michael Pertschuk, M.D., and his colleagues. About twice as many women
answered as did men, demonstrating women's keen interest in the subject.
The answers revealed fascinating shifts and misconceptions:
Men believe their appearance has a greater impact on women than
women themselves actually acknowledge. From hairline to penis size, men
believe their specific physical features strongly influence their
personal acceptability by women.
Women, in general, are quite willing to adapt to their own mate's
appearance, accepting features such as baldness or extra weight, even
though their ideal male is different. Women tend to like what they've
got--whether he is bearded, uncircumcised, short, or otherwise "off" the
norm.
A significant subset of women who are financially independent and
rate themselves as physically attractive place a high value on male
appearance. This new and vocal minority unabashedly declares a strong
preference for better-looking men. They also care more about penis size,
both width and length.
For both men and women, personality wins hands down: it's what men
believe women seek, and indeed, what women say is most important in
choosing a partner.
Nonetheless, men still care about their own looks. Though men give
top priority to their sense of humor and intelligence, a nice face is a
close third, and body build is not far behind. Women give an overall
lower significance to men's physical appearance, but height is still an
important turn-on for women.
Men are scared of losing their hair, but women are more accepting
of baldness in a mate than men realize. Both men and women prefer
clean-shaven men--today.
Men are less worried about being overweight than are most women,
but more concerned about muscle mass--reflecting our cultural ideals of
thin women and powerful men. The muscle-bound body build was highly rated
by men, while women preferred a medium, lightly muscled build in their
ideal males.
Curiously enough, there seems to be emerging a single standard of
beauty for men today: a hypermasculine, muscled, powerfully shaped
body--the Soloflex man. It's an open question whether that standard will
become as punishing for men as has women's superthin standard.
We are moving away from the old adage: men do, women are. As noted
anthropologist David Gilmore, Ph.D., author of Manhood in the Making,
states, "That dual view will never entirely go away, but now we're
reaching some kind of compromise, where there is more choice. Women can
choose men who are not rich or successful, but who are beautiful."
WHAT'S IN A MAN?
Tags:
alec baldwin,
appearance,
arnold schwarzenegger,
attraction,
Body image,
clefts,
countless men,
fashion arbiter,
fashion runways,
female images,
female mannequins,
first national survey,
holly brubach,
keanu reeves,
manly men,
masterful blend,
men,
objects of desire,
odalisques,
sandy beaches,
seismic shift,
sex objects,
women
