Being the new kid is never easy. Each year, an estimated 13 million American children relocate and many struggle with the transition. But psychologists say parents can take a few steps to help their kids adjust to new surroundings.
The age factor: Children ages 4 to 6 are most vulnerable to the effects of a move because they are often just beginning to separate themselves socially from their parents. At this age, it's not unusual for kids to develop anxieties in a new place and be immobilized by fear and insecurity, says Thomas Olkowski, a Denver-area child psychologist. Children who are normally quite social may react by withdrawing from activities. Moving can also be difficult for teenagers, who have often developed a strong peer group that may seem more important to them than their immediate family. Helping them stay in touch with old friends is crucial.
Location, location: Children often derive a sense of identity from their hometown—perhaps more so than adults. One of the first things kids learn is their addresses and the names of the towns in which they live. Parents may not realize that a new town may feel like more than a different location for a child. Many kids feel that their identities have been lost in the process. Parents should try to listen to their kids' fears.
Before packing up the furniture, parents can familiarize their children with the new place, showing them pictures of their future home and highlighting its attributes. If the town is far away, one way to introduce the environment is with books and movies that take place there.
At school: Why not encourage your children to try new sports or hobbies? Let them know that a new school presents new opportunities, but they'll need reassurance that they're likely to shine in their new school. If it's a summer move, ease kids into the social scene through local activities that will help them make friends before the first school day. The school may be able to give a guided tour and ask another student to be a guide during the first week. Parents should also monitor homework and grades for academic gaps they may have at school.
Most of all, stay optimistic, say psychologists. An upbeat parent is likely to influence their child to be positive, as well.
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