The First Move
A guy that used to work with me moved far away. I always liked him, but his departure made me realize that I miss him and would like to pursue a relationship. He is very friendly, but he is a kind of guy that never would make unwelcome advances. How do I overcome my fear of letting him know how I feel about him and not make a fool of myself?
You need to test whether the door is open to a personal relationship. The safest way is to send an email message. Try to come up with a charming or intriguing line for the "subject." In the body of the note, let him know that you liked working with him and miss him. If you have an amusing anecdote or a bit of interesting news to report, so much the better. Make your note short and sweet. You needn't declare your intentions any further than saying, in closing, that you'd love to hear back from him.
Web Feat
I met a gentleman on the Internet about six weeks ago .We are both divorced and have been spending every possible moment together. I have not ever had a true male companion to talk with or to make love to me. However, he does everything I have always dreamt about. I feel like I have started to fall madly in love with him. How can I tell if he feels the same? He has been divorced for six years and is 44. I am 38 and divorced for two .This is the only relationship I have had since my divorce.
The Internet is great. It literally widens the net of people available. It allows people to meet and discover mutual interests who might never have encountered each other in the course of their daily lives. But it should not steal your brain. It in no way absolves you of the need to judge the character of a candidate for partner, observe his/her behavior with other people and in other spheres of life, such as the capacity to hold a job and function without drugs or alcohol, as well as to enjoy common interests. You need to see him function in other arenas, and to observe how he treats his children, if he has any, or yours, and even his ex (beware of anyone who blames everything on an ex or who is still seething with anger at an ex).
You need to bring him, slowly, into your universe and see how he functions. Introduce him to your friends and honor their opinions of him. And he should gradually introduce you to his world.
Some people use the Internet constructively to solve problems in their life, such as using it as a tool for finding a compatible partner, others do not. Some people play around on the dating sites, never intending to get serious.
One measure of your boyfriend's seriousness is whether he has removed his profile from the website where you first encountered each other, or rendered it inactive for now.
Remember, great relationships depend on great communication. Surely you can find a way to tell your friend that you are really beginning to care about him. His reaction will probably tell you everything you need to know. But go slowly. It take many people a lot longer than six weeks to know how they feel. And caution in anyone who made a mistake the first time around is definitely a plus.
Who's the Jerk?
I am in love with the man I have been dating for over a year, despite some rocky points where I found out he had lied to me. Now I feel that I am pushing him away because I have become a person I never thought I could be: I care only for him to the point that I am not competitive in the important albeit immature game of dating. I show my emotions too quickly and this is turning him off. I am not enough of a bitch for him, no thing to work for him to get. He makes up for this by becoming more of a jerk to me. He tells me that if he cheats I will not be able to stop him. Maybe I am losing sight of myself in this relationship, something I never thought could happen to me.
Why do you insist on finding problems with yourself (none of us is perfect) when you clearly indicate the man you are "in love" with is, in your words, "a liar" and "a jerk"? Dating is always a difficult experience; we constantly risk rejection; for many reasons it makes sense that you'd want to settle into a stable relationship with a suitable mate as quickly as possible. But you shouldn't have to sacrifice your character and self-respect in the process. Regain your senses, girl, and examine the evidence you yourself provide about this candidate. Before you work on transforming yourself into the "bitch" this guy needs to "work" on, do something else for yourself-tell him so long. The disappointment won't last forever. And look for a nicer guy; there are plenty out there.
Dumped and Down
I'm 19 and my boyfriend dumped me after four years. I am devastated and can't eat or sleep. I love this guy with all my heart. Then I find out that he went out with one of my friends and told her that he loves her. He lied to her just to get into her bed. I think there is something wrong with him, like he enjoys doing this to us.
