Therapy Watch: Caught in the Middle

Therapists discuss the pros and cons of two friends or family members sharing their services.

By Matthew Hutson, published on May 01, 2009 - last reviewed on June 17, 2009

Have you thought of recommending your therapist to a close confederate? We asked members of Psychology Today's Therapy Directory about the pros and cons of two friends or family members seeing the same shrink.

Taking Sides

One reason for turning down family members (or even roommates) is that you need to have an alliance with your patient. It can be hard to do when family members are competing for different agendas. Seeing friends, however, doesn't typically present an issue for me. Usually what they are seeking treatment for isn't related to the friend. –Carol Barnaby, Bethesda, Md.

Biting Your Tongue

Two friends were struggling with each other and they knew they were both seeing me. The one who was particularly upset didn't want to tattle and so wasn't fully open. I found this out after the other one left therapy. The remaining one told me that she was relieved that her friend was not seeing me anymore. –Frieda Ferrick, Santa Rosa, Calif.

Mine!

Sharing me with someone else can lessen someone's ability to be honest, as they fear I'll compare what they say to what I'm hearing behind closed doors from their friend. Sharing can also stand in the way of their need to have me all to themselves. –Heather Browne, Garden Grove, Calif.

High Hopes

The biggest con in treating friends is that often patients come in having heard how wonderful you are and how you helped the friend change his or her life; they have expectations that are hard to meet. –Carol Barnaby, Bethesda, Md.

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