Eccentric's Corner: The Transformer

Addams took the long road to womanhood but has made up for lost time.

By Matthew Hutson, published on September 01, 2008 - last reviewed on October 27, 2008

In early 2008, Calpernia Addams performed in The Vagina Monologues' star-studded 10th anniversary celebration ("V to the Tenth") at the Louisiana Superdome. She's come a long way. Born into a male body and a Christian cult, she served four years in the Navy and became a showgirl upon return. During the transition to womanhood, she dated a local soldier who was murdered for their relationship. After coaching Felicity Huffman for Transamerica, she began a dating reality show called Transamerican Love Story.

You made a snarky video about questions not to ask a transsexual.

There's no need to ask me about my genitals when you've just met me. And asking to see a picture of me from before is asking to see me when I felt the ugliest and most worthless. The video was made with a twist of humor. It's just about politeness.

How did you choose your name?

I chose it as a showgirl stage name. Addams is from The Addams Family, and Calpurnia was Caesar's wife's name in Shakespeare's play. I was a major nerd and an outcast as a child, so books were my only friends.

Tell me about the Christian cult.

It's not just somebody saying, "Don't smoke in the bathroom." It's someone saying, "We're under siege and the world is a corrupt and horrible place that is going to crash in on itself."

After high school, you joined the military?

My parents thought that college leads you away from God, so they hadn't saved any money. I thought the Navy would get me out of Nashville at least. I was such a curiosity to the other soldiers because I had never seen a movie or listened to modern music and I didn't curse or drink. I went to the First Gulf War in Saudi Arabia as a combat field medical specialist. My last year in the Navy, I went to stay on a remote island in the Aleutian chain and luckily enough I met a pack of wilderness lesbians who were airplane mechanics for the Navy. Under their wings I decided I might be gay, and I left the military.

And you returned to Nashville.

I was determined to figure myself out. I had wished that I was a girl ever since I was a child. You might as well wish that you were a unicorn. But when I went to my first gay bar and first saw [drag ] showgirls I was mesmerized and I thought, wow, if they can do it then I can do it. At first I was awkward and horrible and couldn't dance but then I felt beautiful and exciting and I've never looked back.

Then you realized you were a woman?

As the years went by, I thought that I would either have to transition or kill myself. So I did the full medical transition. I have left behind being a showgirl and now I just live as a woman. I put on jeans and go to the grocery store. It's not about snapping your fingers in a Z.

What do the Monologues mean for someone not born with a vagina?

Well, I met Jane Fonda at Sundance, and she said my business partner Andrea James and I should mount the first all-transsexual showing of The Vagina Monologues. It was a sold-out show. Then [VM playwright] Eve Ensler asked me to read at the Superdome. What it's really about is women learning to love their bodies and fighting violence. Those two things are very resonant with me.

What happened in 1999?

A soldier named Barry Winchell came to see my showgirl act and we started dating. Two soldiers harassed him and on the 4th of July beat him to death in his sleep. I lost the first man to really value me as I was. I had intended to live a quiet life, but when that happened I decided to fight for justice and to honor his memory.

What inspired your dating show?

Well, the LOGO channel wanted me to do a reality show. They promised me that I wouldn't have to pretend to be some kind of monster just to get ratings, and they said we'd have parts where we actually talk about what it's like for trans people to date. And I think you get a sense that we're aware of how silly the genre is.

What are your ideal acting roles?

I'm fascinated by people who are nothing like me: Sigourney Weaver in Alien and Angelina Jolie in Girl, Interrupted. But transsexuals always get calls for roles as prostitutes or punch lines or psycho killers. I started a mile behind the starting line so I'm making my own movies.

Are you conflicted about being a spokesperson for transgender women and also wanting to be seen as all female?

I'm the same person I've always been. Being "out" about my physical transitions, without making a daily issue out of it, is just being practical and honest.

Do you see your parents much?

Whenever I go home, they look at me with a little tinge of tears and say, "We love you, son." It's like, Ouch. I'm a reminder that their baby is going to hell. Kind of a downer at Christmas dinners.

What's with your self-celebratory song, "Stunning"?

Vanity has always been hilarious to me because growing up I couldn't even look in mirrors. So for my TV show, I wrote the most vain song I could. I say things like, "I turn down three-ways with Brad and Angelina." Now it's playing in clubs and it's a bit of an underground hit.