Success at the negotiation table requires getting inside the head of your opponent, but not necessarily penetrating his heart. Considering someone else's thoughts is different from sharing in his emotions—the first process is called perspective taking, the second empathizing—and research reported in Psychological Science finds that the former will get you a better deal than the latter.
You're trying to buy a gas station—play along—and your max price is lower than the seller's minimum. But! You each have hidden bargaining chips. With a little back-and-forth, the seller reveals that he needs a job to finance a sailboat trip, and you note that you need to hire a manager. So you pay less than sticker price and hire the guy. A win-win. Adam Galinsky at Northwestern and his collaborators found that naturally perspective-taking MBA students, and those specifically asked to consider the seller's thoughts, uncovered this solution much more often than their classmates who empathized instead.
Empathy can build trust and cool emotional disputes, but "it really tips the balance too far in the direction of the other person's interest," Galinsky says.
