Domestic Drama: On-Again, Off-Again

  • Adopt a worst-case-scenario mindset. Many perpetual boomerangers keep returning because they assume they can change their partner's worst habits. But that's wishful thinking, psychotherapist Toni Coleman says. "You have to assume that the behaviors you see will get more entrenched and worse over time. Ask yourself, 'If that turns out to be the case, would I still want to be in this relationship?'"
  • Seek advice from a trusted third party. Therapists fill the bill nicely, but family and friends can be just as helpful. Because they don't have as much invested in your partner as you do, they can provide unbiased opinions as to whether smooth sailing is in your relationship's future.
  • Take a time-out. In an on-again, off-again pairing, hiatuses are par for the course. But resolve to make this one different. Use the emotional distance to think clearly about what you want from a long-term relationship. Make a list if it helps you organize your thoughts. If your partner doesn't measure up, make the hiatus permanent.
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