- First, watch a movie or a sunset or engage in some activity not affected by your perfectionistic strivings. Pay attention to how much pleasure you get from it.
- Then engage in some activity—say, tennis—that is subject to your perfectionism. How much pleasure do you get from it?
- Ask yourself: So I miss a shot, what does it mean for my self-worth?
- Apply that same insight to all other activities: Is this perfectionistic orientation worth it for this task?
- Now you actually need to experiment with a different way of evaluating yourself and your performance. So deliberately make a mistake; miss a shot in tennis.
- Ask yourself: Does your opponent think less of you? Do observers think less of you? If your opponent makes a mistake, do you think less of him?
- Play tennis and concentrate only on the motion of your body. Did you enjoy that set more?
- Understand the nature of mistakes. They're something we learn from—more than from our successes.
- Look upon failure as information, not a fixed or frozen outcome. It's a signal to try something else—another chance to learn.
From A Nation of Wimps by Hara Estroff Marano (Broadway Books, 2008), reprinted with permission.
