Real-estate developer Zell Kravinsky famously gave away much of his fortune—and then donated a kidney to a stranger, against his family's wishes, in the belief that others' well-being shouldn't come after his family's. "I'm the last person to want to criticize the man," says Post of Kravinsky. "But he is hyper-altruistic. We have responsibilities to the care of the self, and to our nearest and dearest."
"I never could have done this if I had my own children," says Montanti. "Maybe that's why I didn't have them. But I will never regret any of it. Kenan's letter fell into my lap, and I was made to do this."
How to Lend a Hand
Even if you're not in the habit of helping others, you can improve your mood and your health by acting altruistically.
- Start in Your Own Backyard: You don't have to fly to Africa and work at an AIDS clinic to be altruistic, says Stephen Post. Simply being more caring and more helpful to your family members and friends will strengthen your giving muscles and make you feel great.
- Experiment With Ways of Giving: Sending a check to a charity or volunteering at a local organization are obvious ways to be angelic. But listening carefully, forgiving those who have hurt you, and even going out of your way to make a suffering person laugh are also acts of altruism. Give in a way that suits your personality and it won't feel like work.
- Use the Power of Intention: Each morning, Post does a 15-minute visualization exercise, where he pictures himself acting generously and compassionately with his wife, kids, coworkers, and anyone else he plans to see.
It's much easier to tap into your better self if you've already imagined it.
