Fast Forces of Attraction

Attraction is a symphony in which many different instruments—wit, voice, charisma, class, and body language—play a part.

By PT Staff, published on January 01, 2008 - last reviewed on September 02, 2009

When you're attracted to someone, your whole body switches on. It's like hearing the first bars of your favorite song. And though it might feel like magic, it isn't random. It's just too complex for us to discern the harmony. Attraction is so subtle that we would trip over our own feet if we were aware of every move. That's why our brains have set us up to draw instantaneous inferences from tiny nuances of behavior, what psychologists call "thin slices" of judgment. We form first impressions of another's attractiveness in a tenth of a second, generating a symphonic burst of desire in which everything from voice to wit plays a part.

—Jay Dixit

Smooth Talk

What we listen for in a voice.

The sound of a sexy voice can echo for generations ("Happy Birthday, Mr. President... "). And the dissonance of an ear-blistering cackle can turn away even the most interested suitors (call it the Fran Drescher effect). But between these extremes, how much do we weigh the voice of a potential partner—and what do we listen for when they first open their mouths?

Accents affect our perceptions, as do speed and pitch. We judge fast talkers to be more educated, and those with varied inflection to be more interesting. Men prefer higher voices in women, and women like deeper voices in men (especially when ovulating or looking for a short-term relationship). Pitch correlates only loosely with height, but is closely tied to hormone levels—meaning it's a good indicator of fertility or dominance, as well as health and attractiveness. "In general, people with attractive voices have attractive faces," says David Feinberg, a psychologist at McMaster University.

If your voice eclipses your face as your star quality, keep your mouth moving. One study showed that hearing tones that matched men's or women's voices made androgynous headshots appear more masculine or feminine. In other words, a sonorous voice can actually enhance your looks.

—Matthew Hutson

In Good Repute

The delicate matter of advance word.

No matter how spectacular your entrance, your reputation got there before you. And it has primed everyone's reptilian brain to render a high-speed decision on whether you are to be trusted. If the answer is affirmative, that charming chap holding court in the center of the room may be kindly disposed to flash you a smile, let down his guard, and begin the dance of attraction.

But if the amygdala sends up a caution flag—otherwise known as anxiety—you may have to work extra hard to create a positive impression. It may be, finds a team of German and Austrian researchers, that we're all far more attuned to advance word than to the evidence before our very eyes.

People like people whom others find attractive. You might be inclined to think it's because socializing with (or sleeping with) the It girl enhances your own status in the crowd. And maybe it does. But a recent study suggests it's also an effective mating shortcut. Choosing a good partner takes time and energy. When one woman finds a guy attractive, others are likely to flock to him too. Scientists call it "mate-choice copying." It makes life easier for fish and birds, and it turns out to be the way people operate, too.

—Hara Estroff Marano

Class Action

The allure of shared pedigree.

Most of us are drawn to those who hail from our own side of the tracks, and men and women are marrying within their social class much more than ever.

The outward signs of pedigree have gotten trickier to read, thanks to modern informality in dress and the ubiquity of cheap, high-quality clothing, notes Dalton Conley, a sociologist at NYU. Yet we're deft at passing style judgments that place people precisely on the socioeconomic spectrum.

We're attracted to people who look like a class match because we think they'll validate our own choices and values and share our interests and opinions.

"We all love the story of Pretty Woman, but generally it doesn't work that way," says Conley. "How someone does their hair and nails and how they dress is difficult to separate from their innate attractiveness. It's a package deal."

—Carlin Flora

The Once Over

Not all flesh is created equal.

Ask five people what they find attractive, and you'll get a lesson in human variability: girls with ears that stick out; guys with soulful eyes.

But ask 5,000 people and clear patterns emerge. Some traits have universal sex appeal because they're markers of good genes, health, and fertility: a fit body, clear skin, a symmetrical face with average-sized and -shaped features, and traits that mark sex hormones: Angelina Jolie's big lips indicate high estrogen, while George Clooney's square jaw signals he's got testosterone to burn. Women swoon over men with "adult" faces—marked by strong chin and nose—while men like women who look childlike, with smooth skin, small noses, and high cheekbones.

And everything you fear about height and weight is true: A woman's desirability in a speed dating situation is determined largely by her thinness, while each extra inch of height gives men a 5 percent edge in the number of women interested in dating him.

But we tend to wind up with people of similar stature and girth—meaning short men end up with even shorter women, and people choose partners with similar builds. After all, a warm glance from a charmer who's within size range is infinitely more alluring than a runway model's cold shoulder.

—Carlin Flora