Domestic Drama: Prickly Pére

For children who resolve to stick it out with problem parents, the struggle is not without reward. Levine worked hard at maintaining regular contact with his mother in the years before she died. The decision to stay in touch wasn't easy—each time he visited her, the pain and bad memories came flooding back—but he doesn't regret it. "You need to be able to put the past in some kind of bracketed perspective," he says. "Opportunities to truly resolve all your issues with a parent are few and far between, but I feel a little bit more peaceful knowing that I made the effort." --Elizabeth Svoboda

Taming the Toxic Parent

Problem Parents can dominate your life. Here's how to manage them without sacrificing happiness or autonomy.

• Set firm boundaries for approaching a difficult parent. If your parent is smothering or narcissistic, opt for shorter or less frequent visits.
• If your parent is verbally abusive, walk away when insults start to fly.
• Stop trying to "fix" your troubled parent. Recognize that you're not to blame for his or her shortcomings.
• Don't let past infractions poison your relations now. Forgiving doesn't mean forgetting, but be open to healthy new developments in the relationship.
• Avoid situations that trigger underlying conflict. If your parents act toxic at large family gatherings, try suggesting a park outing or a play.
• Think about what the relationship means to you and whether it's worth saving even if he or she never changes. Your parents aren't total monsters: They influence your life in positive ways as well as negative ones—so think hard before deciding to cut them off.