When Personalities Clash

Can't someone give us an instruction kit? Yes. Socrates handed it over some time ago. It starts and ends with the hardest rule to follow, whether in the workplace or any other setting: Know thyself.

Cease-fire for a Personality Conflict

If you are caught in an unpleasant struggle with an irritating colleague, here are some ways to extricate yourself.

• Resist recruiting allies. It's reassuring to find evidence that "I'm not the only one who thinks our boss is a disorganized mess." But the more you bond over the negative, the larger that negative looms in your own life.
• Focus on strengths. Remind yourself of the contributions your adversary does make—to the team, to the company, and especially, if you can find it, to your own work. This will take the edge off your annoyance.
• Get out of the way. Some personalities push buttons so personally sensitive that you are able only to cringe. If you can't diminish the intensity of your reaction, at least reduce your contact.
• Look in the mirror. Not everyone at your office is as affected by the other's personality as you are. If you can figure out your role in the dynamic or the source of your response, you'll learn something important about yourself.