Catfight in the Boardroom

There's something for women to learn here, some relaxation of expectations, some stiffening of the spirit, that might make the harsh realities of the office easier to stomach. Are women actually harder on other women in the workplace? The answer is probably a cautious yes, sometimes. But does that have to be a source of pain? Not necessarily. We could adopt the male workplace mantra that eases the relationships of the most competitive of colleagues: "It's just business." And they believe it.

United Women Stand

Keeping your friends close and your enemies closer is a truism. Better to forge strong bonds than be picked off one by one.

• Ignore Reputations. Strong women are targets for exaggerated tales of aggression and mean spiritedness. Believe only what you experience.
• Meet as a Group. Create occasions for all women at the office to meet together. Academy Award night? Baby shower luncheon? Ignore males who denigrate your participation. A strong group identity can boost cooperation and the forging of mutual interests. Remember Lysistrata?
• Acknowledge Competition. Friendly rivalries thrive when you openly label them as such and look comfortable in the process. Take a rival to lunch; joke about your both trying to win over the boss. It is, after all, no secret.
• Recognize When You Pose a Threat. If you see it, you can soothe it. And that might make the relationship better.
• Don't Take It Personally. Just because another woman wants the project or promotion you aspire to doesn't mean she's out to get you. She's out to get ahead. Just like you. May the best woman win.