The most contentious items are the one-of-a-kind heirlooms—and the emotions associated with them. The worst thing you can do? State in your will that your personal items should be distributed "equally" to your children, which will practically guarantee a tussle over the beloved artifacts.
Consult an attorney about your state's specific laws, but consider some of these suggestions as starting points:
- Give treasured items away in person while you're alive. You'll also be giving your heirs a memory of your affection for them.
- If you anticipate tension, leave explicit instructions in your will, perhaps accompanied by photos or a video. Your children will be hard-pressed to disagree if you explain in detail why you made the decisions you did.
- Ask your kids what they want. You may think your son would love to inherit your antique gun collection when he'd much rather have your old cookbooks.
- Use rotating choice. Gather your children for a house tour. Go room to room and allow each one of them to take turns having first pick on one item in each room.
Don't think these strategies will work? State in your will that personal items will be sold at a private auction. Each family member can bid on any object, with winning amounts deducted from the bidder's share of the estate.
