Criticism: Taking the Hit

Give as Good as You Get

It's not only difficult to get negative feedback, nobody likes to give it either (well, a few insecure sadists aside). This is the case across the spectrum of power. We are universally reluctant to trigger the hurt feelings, angry defenses or counter attacks that criticism so frequently arouses.

Of course, you know you need to avoid the hallway rants and sweeping generalizations that make negative feedback more humiliating and less useful. Beyond these basics, here are some guidelines for this tricky communication:

1. Pair every negative with a positive: "You are an amazing problem solver, but you aren't following up with the paperwork."
2. Give feedback on observable behavior only, don't speculate on internal attitudes.
3. Be excruciatingly specific about both the problem and the expected solution: "When you do X, it creates problem Y. Next time, try this instead... "
4. Extend yourself to maintain the relationship. After criticism, people withdraw. Counter that by making friendly conversation.
5. Remember, reward is the most powerful change agent. Go lightly over what's wrong and be heavy-handed with what's working or will work in the future.