Tame Your Passive-Aggression

If you're a passive-aggressor who knows just what you're doing, you can resolve to change your patterns. If you're unaware of your behavior, on the other hand, you'll likely resist the idea that you're harboring anger. You must practice expressing your emotions, which could be tricky if you've chosen a partner who is particularly uncomfortable with rage—someone who reinforces your deep-seated belief that anger is not acceptable.

Practice asserting your true wants and needs. Remember that it is okay to say no to requests, though you may vex others. "You need to stop pleasing other people," says Engel. "Act more from the point of view of what you want to do, instead of what you don't want to do." If you're passive-aggressive, you are often primarily motivated to placate others and avoid conflict, rather than going for what you want.