Gossip serves as intergenerational glue as well. The Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky scandal not only enlivened debates about fidelity, it gave the nation a narrative to collectively chew. "All of a sudden I was talking about oral sex with my parents and we were debating whether or not it was infidelity," says Coen. "And I knew that somewhere on the other side of the country some other family was having the exact same conversation. It made the whole country feel closer." Seven years later, people still talk about Bill and Monica as if they were old neighbors and smile sheepishly about the cigar.
"You women get more business done in the car pool line than I do at work."
Ricky and Fred can't take their wives' gossiping any longer, and Lucy and Ethel can't take their husbands' complaining. So the men make the women an offer: Whoever can hold their tongues the longest will get breakfast in bed. That night, Ricky pretends to be asleep and mumbles an irresistible made-up rumor: Their neighbor Mrs. Foster has run off with the milkman. Lucy immediately tells Ethel, and the husbands overhear them through the furnace pipe.
Fred (shouting into the pipe): Ethel, this is your conscience. You've been gossiping. Lucy: Ethel, you have the loudest conscience I have ever heard. Ricky: Lucy Ricardo, you've been gossipin' too. Lucy: Oh, fine. Mine has an accent.
The Lucy stereotype is partially true. Women gossip somewhat more than men do, although both sexes talk largely about the same things (so long as you replace movie-star dish with sports and money talk). Women have broader social circles than men at all levels: They have more confidants, more friends and more casual acquaintances. Women gossip equally with their friends, boyfriends and husbands, whereas men gossip more with their girlfriends and wives than with their friends. But when it comes to information regarding potential mates, single men and women are both rabidly interested.
Gender differences in gossiping may exist because women were forced to adjust to new social environments more often than were men. Women moved in with their husbands' families more often than husbands moved in with their wives'. A woman needed to learn the social structure of a whole new tribe, which required excellent networking abilities. While early man rarely needed to gather social information, early woman could not have survived without it.
But Robin Dunbar of the University of Liverpool has a different theory. He argues that human societies are essentially run by women. When women find it convenient, they gather in groups to raise their children. When they don't, they pair off with men in monogamous relationships. "There is all this froth on top made by the men, pretending to rule the system, imposing themselves, and restricting what women do," he says. "But women are running the system at the interpersonal level. If women were to stop socializing, society would fall apart."
Sure enough, Ricky wins the battle but Lucy wins the war. As she serves him breakfast in bed, the milkman rushes into the Ricardo bedroom, followed by a furious Mr. Foster, who is wielding a pistol. Apparently, Ricky's made-up rumor turned out to be true. Terrified of the trouble he started, Ricky ducks into the kitchen. With her husband gone, Lucy hands the milkman and Mr. Foster 10 dollars and thanks them for their brilliant performance. The lesson: Don't mess with a woman and her gossip.
Like Lucy, we feign innocence with every act of gossip we commit.
Jennifer Drapkin is a freelance science writer in New York City.
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