The Serial Adulterer

Lots. But don't waste half a nanosecond worrying about what the neighbors think. All that matters is what you and your husband think. It's time to sit down with him and tell him much of what you told me. But it would be wise to remember there was a reason the two of you were attracted to each other in the first place. Over the long haul, hot-tempered types do well to have a calmer soul around. It's a good balance—if you can get over some of the short-term hassles. Right now, you are feeling a new power and wanting to exercise it—but making the mistake of thinking that its true test is your attractiveness to other men. It's not worth breaking up your marriage for. Why don't you hire a baby sitter, arrange a date with Hubby and tell him in a very loving way some things that are on your mind. Be sure to turn your complaints into open-ended questions preceded by an appreciation for what he is doing. And remember that your husband may not be happy with the way things are going either. You both need to know you are committed to each other and to the relationship. You might ask him whether the fights are bothering him as much as they are you because you don't seem able to recover the emotional closeness you once had and you miss that. You could ask him why he thinks you two are fighting so much these days. You could ask him whether his life is going the way he wants it to right now, and listen carefully to his answer. You could express appreciation for the support he's giving you to be back at work, and ask whether he feels he's getting what he'd like from you. You could tell him how much you enjoy your sex life but would love to put some sizzle into the rest of the life you share, and ask him if he has some ideas of how you two could do that. The point is, you need to remember you are married and to take your complaints to your partner—but to state them in a kind and considerate way that is most likely to lead to the kind of change you want.