Advice: Dear Ex, Wise Up

I broke up with my boyfriend almost a year ago because he cheated on me. We had plans of marriage and a future together, but his ex-girlfriend came back into his life. I said I wasn't waiting for him, but I know I am because I love him dearly. I set a limit or a goal. I said that in a year (which is next month) I would break all ties and try to completely let go. I've been dating around and trying to learn how to live without him, but it's so hard; we were together for 4 1/2 years. I don't trust men, I don't know how to let go, I don't have hope to find love for the future. I am hitting 30 and am a little on the heavy side, so I don't think I'll ever find anyone.

Your failure to move on has at least as much to do with fears for yourself as love of your ex. You need to live life independent of him -- or anyone. Yes, it's stepping into the unknown and out of your comfort zone, but necessary. Turning 30 is scarcely the end of life as we know it. All you really need to do is to add some exercise activity to your life. Join a hiking club. Talk daily walks. Dragoon a friend into exercising with you four days a week. If you mobilize yourself you'll feel so much better -- and you will shed the extra weight that makes you fearful of the social arena. It's time to live your life for yourself instead of waiting for an ex to come to his senses. You can't control him, but you can control what you do.