Talk about fiscal facts before you say "I do." When you marry, you are marrying your spouse's financial history, though couples bond emotionally long before evaluating each other's financial probity.
Consider paying off your debt before tying the knot.
Live frugally and develop an action plan to pay off existing debt. The less debt a couple brings into a marriage, researchers have found, the greater their chances for happiness.
Discuss how money was handled in your family of origin. When a money matter explodes in a relationship, it is often because it triggers deep-seated, yet unspoken, assumptions based on early experience. Talk about how money was handled by your parents—literally (Who went to the bank? Who balanced the checkbook?) and emotionally (Did you feel anxious about bills being paid? Did your parents show love with costly gifts?).
Discuss how you've handled money in the past. What problems arose in previous relationships? When, and on what items, do you overspend? Do you like low-risk or high-risk investments?
Be honest about your financial situation. Disclose your salary, debt load, student loans, inheritance, savings and credit status. Don't estimate—pull out paperwork and add up actual figures.
Establish common goals through regular conversations. Share banking, checking and credit card statements regularly. When discussing debt or other difficult topics, take turns using a talker-listener approach. Don't interrupt.
Develop a budget. Know where your money goes. Categorize monthly expenses (house and car payments, credit card payments, groceries, eating out, clothes, entertainment), rank them by priority, and decide how much can be put into savings and how much into accounts allowing immediate access.
Decide how much debt is tolerable. Make payments on all secured debts (house and car loans) first each month. Put extra money into paying off high-interest credit cards. Nonmortgage debt payments shouldn't exceed 10 to 15 percent of monthly take-home pay.
Allot "mad money" to each partner. Agree on a personal monthly allowance and don't question what your spouse does with that money. The amount doesn't have to be the same for each spouse, but it should be considered fair by both.
Be smart about credit. Each partner should have at least one credit card in his or her name to establish a personal credit history. If one spouse is better at timely payment, designate them the "bill payer" and assign a comparable task to the other partner.
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