Advice: Too Old to Switch Gears?

She's unhappy with her job and her marriage and wonders if it's time to make a change.

By Hara Estroff Marano, published on June 02, 2004 - last reviewed on January 23, 2009

I'm a 42-year-old full time working mother of one. I want so badly to be a nurse but it would take at least six years to become an RN. I don't know if I can handle all the duties I already have now. I am married, and not particularly happily as my husband over-medicates with pain meds for the buzz factor. He often acts irrationally and gets drunk. I can't take it anymore but I cannot afford a lawyer and of course my top priority is our son. My husband is a great father and loves our son; he has voiced his fear that I will take our son, as I did twice in the past—one time when hubby was not home at 3 a.m., another when he accused me of stealing his meds. I feel I'm STUCK. I do the same thing every day: get up, go to work, hubby goes to work, I come home, TV is on, I turn it off for my son's sake, cook dinner, clean a little, play with my beautiful son, hopefully get a little walk in, then go to bed. I have no friends who come over. I feel so empty and lost.

Indeed, you and your husband are stuck in a painful routine. Becoming an RN and fulfilling your dream will be extremely important for you. It will not only break the repetitive dance you are in at home, it will give you a new sense of your own capabilities and effectiveness—a natural antidote to depression. Good nurses are very much in demand, even at mid-life. Many people today make career changes or find their calling at that age. I recommend that you contact one or two nearby nursing schools and talk to the admissions staff and other administrators about your goals. They may help you find shorter pathways to your goal, and you may discover that there are scholarships and other means of educational support available. Don't walk, run.