Each year, an estimated 13 million American children relocate and many struggle with the transition. But psychologists say parents can take a few steps to help their kids adjust to new surroundings.
By
Mackenzie Dawson Parks, published on November 01, 2003 - last reviewed on June 17, 2008
Being the new kid is never easy. Each year, an estimated 13 million
American children relocate and many struggle with the transition. But
psychologists say parents can take a few steps to help their kids adjust
to new surroundings.
The age factor: Children ages 4 to 6 are most vulnerable to the
effects of a move because they are often just beginning to separate
themselves socially from their parents. At this age, it's not
unusual for kids to develop anxieties in a new place and be immobilized
by fear and insecurity, says Thomas Olkowski, a Denver-area child
psychologist. Children who are normally quite social may react by
withdrawing from activities. Moving can also be difficult for teenagers,
who have often developed a strong peer group that may seem more important
to them than their immediate family. Helping them stay in touch with old
friends is crucial.
Location, location: Children often derive a sense of identity from
their hometown—perhaps more so than adults. One of the first things
kids learn is their addresses and the names of the towns in which they
live. Parents may not realize that a new town may feel like more than a
different location for a child. Many kids feel that their identities have
been lost in the process. Parents should try to listen to their
kids' fears.
Before packing up the furniture, parents can familiarize their
children with the new place, showing them pictures of their future home
and highlighting its attributes. If the town is far away, one way to
introduce the environment is with books and movies that take place
there.
At school: Why not encourage your children to try new sports or
hobbies? Let them know that a new school presents new opportunities, but
they'll need reassurance that they're likely to shine in
their new school. If it's a summer move, ease kids into the social
scene through local activities that will help them make friends before
the first school day. The school may be able to give a guided tour and
ask another student to be a guide during the first week. Parents should
also monitor homework and grades for academic gaps they may have at
school.
Most of all, stay optimistic, say psychologists. An upbeat parent
is likely to influence their child to be positive, as well.
