One of the best defenses against depression is also one of the most
elusive. A strong and positive sense of self is a foundation for
immunization against depression but it is hard to build and maintain.
Research has shown that the more roles people fill, the more sources of
self-esteem they have; meaningful work has long been one of the most
important ways to feel good about ourselves.
But using the process of work as a traditional source of
self-esteem is now endangered. The one thing that is most likely to
suffer damage in today's workplace is precisely what most of us hope to
get there -- our self-esteem. To a surprising degree, the modern workplace
presents some formidable psychological hazards.
For starters, the pace of work is so fast that no one stops to
acknowledge a good job even in the face of excellent performance. The
demand for productivity has grown so significantly that no one feels they
are doing enough fast enough; almost everyone looks at the undone
workload and feels inadequate, pressured to complete an endless "To Do"
list.
Both the speed of work and the demand for productivity make us work
an unprecedented number of hours. That encroaches on our down time and
deprives us of those most restorative experiences -- connecting with self,
friends, family.
What's more, the pressures have led to a genuine rise in
aggression, violence and rudeness in the workplace. Rudeness always makes
people feel devalued. In part, it is the result of collective lowered
self-esteem at work and the behavioral fallout of the widespread loss of
loyalty that has accompanied rapidly changing market conditions.
Another source of rudeness is the fact that many younger workers
have not been trained in the social and communication skills needed in
the workplace. They challenge authority inappropriately and assume an
entitlement that cannot be fulfilled in the need for increasing
productivity facing all companies.
Job security is at an all-time low, compounding the fragility of
self-esteem in the workplace. The upshot is, the workplace is no longer
an arena in which people can count on exercising and fortifying their
sense of self. In this hypercompetitive era it has instead become a major
source of stress and depression.
The most important work in life is not to produce but to maintain
self-esteem. Don't think of self-esteem as an end goal; rather it is a
lifelong psychological process. Think of self-esteem as a muscle, a
mental muscle that must be developed and maintained through regular
psychological workouts -- or you will be too vulnerable to
depression.
Self-esteem must be renegotiated at each stage of life. Here are
four strategies for boosting it that make sense in the office.
* Even if it's just for 15 minutes, pursue one of your passions.
Read a bedtime story to your child-over the phone, if you have to work
late. Take a few minutes out for a "quickie" with your mate before work.
Do a little gardening after work. Be proactive about seeking projects at
work that generate passion for you. Learn new work skills so you can feel
passionate about your work again; if your work has lost all passion, it's
time to move on to another job that generates energy for you instead of
draining it.
* Keep a report card on your best efforts to maintain self-esteem
at work. Note the effort you are putting into work-related activities and
give yourself credit when you try 100%. Each day note your three best
efforts. In one week you'll have 15 reminders why you need to like
yourself. If you truly can't think of anything positive you've done, have
a trusted co-worker do it for you.
* Make a self-esteem bulletin board. Carve out some wall space that
you come face to face with several times a day. Put up a bulletin board
with tangible evidence of your value: the cover sheet of a project you
liked; an email of praise; a photo of your child's winning soccer team; a
dried flower from a bouquet someone sent on your birthday. You must look
at the board every day and absorb what it means: that you are a good
person independent of your job. Update the info monthly.
* Stop negative thinking; focus instead on how to solve problems.
Make a stop sign and post it on your phone or computer as a constant
reminder to dispute negative thoughts about yourself. Negative thinking
is a habit that people slip into so automatically they are unaware it is
actually a choice they are making. The stop sign will help make you aware
that you can control your thinking. Exercise your self-esteem muscle and
convert the negative thoughts to positive solutions. "I'm so stupid"
becomes "So I made a mistake. I'll learn from it."
When your boss criticizes you, take a deep breath, give yourself
time to regroup and move into action to correct the problem. Don't brood
or avoid because those two behaviors kill self-esteem. Don't take it
personally and be strategic are two of the pillars of self-esteem at
work, so practice these behaviors as much as possible, especially in
stressful situations. Thinking positive is one of the quickest ways to
make you feel positive about yourself.
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