Protecting the Children

Often two to three months after an acute episode, when a parent is recovering and has some energy but the events of the illness are recent enough for people to remember. During acute episodes parents need to rest and gather energy. A simple explanation suffices: "Mom (or dad) has a major illness and is recovering."

Parents are always afraid the child will ask why they have this illness and they can't answer. But the child is most concerned with what's being done and what will protect daily routines.

What if a husband and wife disagree on the need for a meeting?

We found that husbands would often say to their wives, "go ahead and do what you want, I don't want to be involved." But children need to see both parents together communicating well. Much of what goes on in a depression can be misconstrued by children as leading to divorce—the fighting, the crying. It's healing for children to see parents doing this together.