Dear Reader, Get a Life

Today's talk show therapists and edgy advice columnists are bolder, and possibly more effective, than the genteel advisers of newspapers past.

By Pamela Paul, published on July 01, 2003 - last reviewed on September 11, 2006

Stuart Fischoff, a clinical psychologist and professor of media psychology at California State University at Los Angeles, calls it postmodern advice—directives that reflect our individualist society with its emphasis on "me first." According to Fischoff, this approach draws from humanistic psychology, with its emphasis on self-actualization and personal growth. "The Ann Landers and Dear Abbys were based on traditional values, privacy, propriety and putting social institutions ahead of yourself," Fischoff explains. "They appealed to the superego, whereas today's advice givers appeal to the id. Now they talk about disencumbering yourself from relationships and situations that prevent you from having a peak experience."

The traditional advice columnist acted as middleman between readers and psychologists; today's advisers assume the expertise themselves. And though some, particularly those doling out sex and relationship advice to teens and 20-somethings, have little or no formal training in psychotherapy, for better or worse, most are more credentialed than the advisers of old. Drs. Joy, Phil and Drew are several degrees ahead of Ann Landers, who had no psychological training. In fact, she never graduated from college.

"Ann considered herself a kind of clearinghouse," says Carol Felsenthal, a Chicago-based writer working on a biography of Landers. "She had a Rolodex to kill for, and rather than call herself the expert, she would refer readers to social workers, psychiatrists or other specialists."

Fischoff points out that far from being a charlatan, Dr. Phil offers solid psychological advice, grounded in today's more dominant cognitive and behavioral—rather than psychoanalytic—practice. Says Fischoff, "Dr. Phil is doing what a lot of therapists are doing, just in a more theatrical way." But Dr. Phil prefers to call himself a "life strategist." He says he lacks the patience to practice therapy; he's always quick to find the solution himself rather than waiting for the patient to arrive there on his own.

For a "life strategist" or coach (Dr. Phil's purview before his consulting firm was hired to prepare Oprah Winfrey's defense against libel charges by the Texas cattle industry), giving counsel is about teaching clients to do what works, not about fostering an understanding of the whys that underpin their behavior. Because coaches are hired on an as-needed basis, they're expected to resolve and wrap up problems within a maximum of six months. Executive coaches in particular insist on bottom-line answers that can be easily resolved and reported to higher-ups.

Such solution-driven advice taps into a larger societal impatience, in which a double-click mentality has accelerated expectations of psychiatric diagnosis and resolution to hyper-speed proportions. What began as years-long Freudian analysis became less labor-intensive but still long-term psychotherapy. Then came HMO-mandated short-term therapy, 10-session packages of life coaching, and now, a quick-hit radio call or an afternoon on a TV soundstage. "Real change is difficult and long-term, but Americans today want to believe that a 15-minute exposure to an answer will fix things," says Ellen McGrath, Ph.D., a New York City-based psychologist.

Answers are comparatively easy to come by. Many psychotherapists concede that Dr. Phil is a brilliant diagnostician who immediately isolates his subjects' problems—but caution that this very skill can be dangerous. Psychotherapy isn't about the practitioner finding the right answer, but about guiding the patient to an answer and helping him deal with it appropriately. Delivering a diagnosis in the wrong way or at the wrong time can be counterproductive. "Even if Dr. Phil is right, it's likely to be disruptive," Berglas says. "Alcoholics know that drinking is ruining their lives and philanderers know they're destroying their marriages. Dr. Phil is identifying a problem with no follow-up-and that's where the work takes place."

In Dr. Phil's defense, he does tend to stick to day-to-day challenges and refuses guests who have been hospitalized, prescribed major psychotropic drugs or would otherwise require ongoing consultation. Even so, the current brand of cure-alls pedaled by Drs. Laura and Joy rouses the ire of private practitioners. "The problem with psychologists practicing advice-giving is that it's not the role of the psychologist to give advice," explains Sean Kenny, Ph.D., a psychotherapist based in Grand Rapids, Mich. "As a therapist, I need to be humble enough to realize that I don't know you, what really makes you tick or what you should do with your life." But then again, as Kenny points out, most Americans like that kind of beat-you-over-the-head psychology.

For the new advisers and their disciples, the goal isn't just fast answers—it's also finding the "right" answers. Americans seem to yearn for a set moral standard and firm "Father Knows Best" guidance. "There's a cultural starvation for that kind of knowledge," Ellen McGrath says. "Dr. Laura will say, 'Here's what's wrong and here's what's wrong.' And Dr. Phil will say, 'Stop whining and start acting.' Dr. Phil is the harsh, loving father and Dr. Laura is the stern, caring mother."