Fear never takes a holiday. But it has already taken the 2001
holiday season.
Under ordinary circumstances, the blues roll in around this time of
year for many. They are normally hard enough to endure during our annual
rituals of merriment and wish fulfillment.
But a new cloud of fear promises to hang over this season as well,
and with or without further FBI pronouncements of danger, it is
distressing to virtually everyone. What makes it especially unsettling is
that this strange mood comes just at the time of year when we crave the
comfort of the familiar.
Anxiety and depression are, however, ancient collaborators in the
human nervous system. Nearly 60% of those with major depression also have
a full-blown anxiety disorder. The psychological vulnerability and brain
circuitry for the two conditions extensively overlap. So those prone to
becoming depressed are more vulnerable to also being anxious.
And this year it is a season of fear more than of merriment. The
reasons are several:
• It's too close to September 11 to feel like
celebrating.
• The holiday and its gatherings constitute a potential time
for terrorists to strike.
• The economy is increasingly uncertain; with less to spend,
people are less happy.
• Travel is more stressful, making it harder for family and
friends to get together and seek comfort in gathering.
• And it is difficult to celebrate when so many are so sad,
having lost family members, jobs, and ways of life in one blow.
That is all the more reason why it is incumbent on all of us, but
especially those prone to depression, to take special steps to reduce
fear. There are a number of effective strategies for fear
management.
• Identify your fears. By definition, fear is elusive; it's
tempting to avoid identifying exactly what you're afraid of. But as soon
as you can identify your fears, you are able to more realistically
determine the true risk. Most people vastly exaggerate their risk, which
magnifies the fear.
Identifying and facing fears is a learned skill. You do it by
making inquiries of others and finding out what they are afraid of, what
they think the degree of risk really is, and where you stand relative to
others.
To talk to others about their fears you must create conditions
where they feel comfortable making such personal disclosures. You need to
be nonjudgmental, inviting, open.
Writing can also be very helpful. Write down what you are most
afraid of. When you put them down on paper, your fears shrink. The act of
writing enables you to gain control over them. Your fears assume a finite
shape; once they exist as objects, outside your mind, you can begin to
develop concrete strategies for dealing with them.
• Rate your fears in severity according to how much risk
there really is. Use a rating scale from 1 to 10 and construct an
imaginary fear meter to help you judge the degree of risk. A 10 would be
purposely exposing yourself to anthrax; a 1 would be riding the subway.
If a fear measures 5 or 6, elect an activity with a lower degree of
risk.
• When you feel fear, immediately launch a calming technique
so that you can deal effectively with the fear. There are three
universally effective techniques:
• Positive imagery. Identify the situation you are afraid of
and mentally picture a successful experience. Get the picture crystal
clear and hold on to it.
• Deep breathe. Inhale slowly through the nose with your
mouth closed and allow the air to fully inflate your lungs. Place your
hands on the sides of your abdomen to make sure that it expands as you
breathe in. Hold the breath briefly before releasing it slowly through
pursed lips. Repeat, letting your body unkink. • Try a variation of
deep-breathing that Olympic athletes use. Inhale through your nose. Hold
the breath for 10 seconds (one alligator, two alligator, etc.), then
exhale forcefully through the mouth in one blast.
• Go to the worst possible case in your mind, plan how to
cope with it, and take action to put that plan into place. A neighbor who
hasn't owned a car in 20 years just bought one in the event that some
catastrophe would require her to evacuate. Others have updated their
wills.
• Share your fears with others and talk them through. That
not only reduces anxiety by itself but enables others to reassure you. It
also provides you with information and ideas about what you can do. The
risks we are all experiencing are so new, there is no other way to test
them against reality.
• Think of the survival of the tribe. People everywhere are
saying "I'm not going to let the terrorists win by curtailing my
activities." It's a great proactive fear-management strategy.
• Engage in physical activity. Working out takes the top off
anxiety and re-grounds you. But don't expect to work out at rates as
before; everybody is physically exhausted coping with so much fear and
trauma.
• Anticipate more exhaustion than ever and put rest periods
into your schedule. Trauma and fear drain energy. Build in an extra half
hour of sleep a night. And set aside a half-hour for rest during the day.
Expect that these holidays may be some of the hardest you have ever
faced.
Tags:
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gatherings,
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