W
hat is a great book to read of starting over after divorce?
Anything dealing with guilt and how to put that aside and move on? I have
a little child and worry constantly about the impact on her years growing
up.
Be 2600
The negative effects of divorce on children are often temporary and
stem from the fact that parents often distracted by their own problems.
In other words, divorcing parents tend to divert their attention from
their children around the time of divorce. Negative effects are not
inevitable. You can focus on the positive AND prevent problems by
continuing to supervise and monitor your child the way all good parents
do. Make sure she has friends and opportunities to be with them in safe
ways, that she does her schoolwork, and that you and she have time to
talk to each other. It's not wise for you to confide your worries about
yourself or your daughter to her. By setting aside time to be with her on
a regular basis you calm her anxieties. If you ask her how things are
going for her, and demonstrate your willingness to listen, you can pick
up early signs of distress before they turn into ingrained
problems.
I just started a relationship with a guy I really like. I
went through his messages once and saw one from a girl who wrote some
obscene things to my man. I told him what I saw and he didn't seem mad
that I went through his stuff. He just said there was nothing between
the girl and him. But now he doesn't call like he used to, and when I
call he's hardly ever on seat. Maybe I'm just being paranoid. What do I
do?
Moji
Ask him, for starters. The next time you talk ask him if he's
avoiding you. Tell him you're picking up signals and you need to know if
you're reading things correctly. Also ask him if that incident left a bad
taste-sometimes it takes a while to absorb the full impact of a violation
of trust. It's hard to maintain distance relationships under the best of
circumstances, and impossible unless you not only clear the air regularly
but also find ways to show loots of affection to each other. And while
you're at it, consider the possibility that your man likes talking dirty.
Lots of people seek it out on the internet as a "harmless" outlet.
Tags:
anxieties,
bad taste,
dealing with guilt,
divorce,
divorcing parents,
effects of divorce,
effects of divorce on children,
negative effects of divorce on children,
relationship,
schoolwork,
signals,
signs,
starters,
trust,
willingness,
worries
