Answers to your questions about personality disorders,
homelessness, friendship and more.
Dear Dr. E,
How can we recognize a personality disorder?
J, via e-mail
Dear J,
The boundary between normal and abnormal personalities is often
fuzzy. Generally, we say someone has a personality disorder if they
exhibit dysfunctional behavioral patterns for long periods of time. There
are about a dozen such disorders in the current classification scheme,
including the infamous "antisocial," "borderline" and "dependent"
categories. The diagnostic process is itself somewhat fuzzy, even for
professionals, so please resist the temptation to label your
friends.
Dear Dr. E,
A man who has been missing for almost a year showed up recently at
his home claiming he had been suffering from amnesia. Is it possible for
someone to lose his or her memory for that length of time?
L, Brooklyn, NY
Dear L,
Yes, it's possible. Head trauma, for example, can lead to a
dramatic loss of memory (epochal retrograde amnesia), which can persist
for long periods. In most cases, some or all of the missing memories
eventually return. As is the case with multiple-personality disorder,
however, a properly motivated person can also fake the condition, and
there's no easy way to tell who's fooling whom.
Dear Dr. E,
A guy I like recently learned that my brother is gay. Now he seems
to be ashamed around me. Is he worth my time?
I, via e-mail
Dear I,
I can't tell you how to pick your friends, but just as your friend
might decide that he doesn't want to associate with gays, you might also
decide that you don't want to associate with bigots. On the other hand,
perhaps you have more potential for tolerance than your friend does. It's
your call.
Dear Dr. E,
I've been jobless for three years. Whenever I think about getting a
job, I feel tense and cold, and I've even cried about it. I'm afraid of
interviews, and I'm also afraid of what people think about me because I'm
not working. I took a test I read about in your magazine, and it suggests
I have mild depression. Can you help me?
M, via e-mail
Dear M,
Sometimes problems are just too overwhelming for us to handle on
our own. Since your difficulties have been persisting for so long, it's
important that you see a counselor or therapist as soon as possible. You
can get referrals from our online directory at www.psychologytoday.com,
your family physician or local professional associations. In many
communities, local clinics offer free or sliding-scale services for those
in need.
Dear Dr. E,
I live on the streets in Los Angeles. It isn't what I wanted, but I
can't seem to change things. I have a high IQ, and I'm exceptionally
sensitive, even to the point where I am attuned to women's menstrual
cramps. My psychologist friends say I'm fine and even come to me with
their own problems. Yet everything I try blows up in my face, perhaps
because of self-sabotage. I have faith and pray, but I'm lost. Can I be
helped?
P, via e-mail
Dear P,
Your letter implies that you know the answer to your own question.
Yes, you can be helped, but only if you commit yourself to the process.
When you're ready, truly ready, to move forward, find a good counselor
and attach yourself to a supportive community, perhaps through a church
where you feel comfortable. Then, like most of us do, grit your teeth and
dig in for the long haul.
