The New Year always brings with it a cultural tradition of new
possibilities. We see it as a chance for renewal.
And when we think of possibilities, we put ourselves right in the
middle of the picture. We begin to dream of new possible selves. We
design our Ideal Self, fashion an image of ourselves that is in various
ways different from what we are now.
For some of us, we roll that dreamy film in our heads just because
it's the beginning of a new year, but we aren't serious about making
changes. The cultural atmosphere simply prescribes such fantasies at that
time of year, but they don't resonate with any impulse deep within. We
make some half-hearted resolution and it evaporates after a week or
two.
For some of us, however, the intentions to enact change are driven
more from within, and we use the season of new beginnings as the gatepost
to which we hitch our good intentions. Should these falter, we walk away
a bit damaged. The experience registers on us, chips away at our sense of
self and makes us feel less successful. We think we aren't very good. It
leads us to discount our ability to change in the future.
The difference between good intentions and failed intentions comes
down to one thing: the recognition that self-change is one of the most
difficult things we can do. Between us as we are now and us in the image
of our ideal self stands the bulldog fact of our ingrained habits.
It's not that change is impossible, it's that it isn't likely to
last unless our resolutions are fortified with lesson plans for
implementation. We have to detail exactly how we are going to achieve
things. We have to make our intentions manageable by detailing the
specific steps that will carry us to our goal.
* First, says Timothy A. Pychyl, Ph.D., associate professor of
psychology at Carleton University in Ottawa, you have to choose personal
projects that have meaning for you. They have to embody your values,
resonate with your identity, hold some enjoyment for you.
* Then you have to focus on making the change manageable. Say your
resolution is to start running. You have to get specific about exactly
what you are going to do, where you are going to do it, and at what
time.
"As runners always point out, the biggest thing about running is
just to get outside," says Dr. Pychyl. Once you get out the door you are
more likely to go for that run.
Making change manageable means that you have to structure your
personal environment to facilitate your goal. So you set up your
surroundings to get you out the door to run first thing in the morning.
The night before you lay out your running clothes right next to your bed
so that they are as easy to reach for as your toothbrush. They become
your cue to go downstairs and get out the door.
In the language of psychology these steps are called implementation
intentions. They take the place of habits until the new behaviors lose
some of their unpleasantness and become more attractive in their own
right. After all, running is difficult in the beginning when you are out
of shape, even though making the effort feels good and makes you feel
good about yourself.
* Build in a little leeway in your new effort at self-regulation.
"We should expect to fail at self-regulation at times," says Dr. Pychyl.
What you really have to guard against is what is formally known as "the
what-the-hell effect."
Say your goal is to lose weight by dieting and cutting out sweets.
But one night you just have to have a cookie and you know there is a bag
of your favorites in the pantry. You want one, you eat two, you check the
bag and find out you've just shot 132 calories. You say to yourself "what
the hell" and polish off the whole bag.
Then you begin to draw all manner of unpleasant conclusions about
yourself. To protect your sense of self you begin to discount the goal;
you think something along the lines of "well, dieting wasn't really that
important to me and I'm not going to make it anyhow." So you abandon the
goal.
Instead, expect to "mess up" from time to time. And just get right
back on track.
