Couples Therapy on a World Scale

After Secretary of State Colin Powell addressed the United Nations
about Iraqi arms violations on Wednesday, a Gallup poll found that more
Americans are convinced that war is the correct option. However, nations
around the world don't all agree. France and Germany, for example, are
sticking to their original position against a military overthrow of Iraqi
President Saddam Hussein. When it comes to diplomacy, there are clear
parallels between couples therapy and conflict resolution among
nations.

When two partners find themselves in an irresolvable conflict,
therapists often don't try to resolve it directly; they look instead for
causes. Conflicting patterns of behavior are typically at the root,
especially in stalemated relationships, explains Armond Aserisky, Ph.D.,
a clinical psychologist from the Philadelphia area.

For couples, it's best to first ask whether the relationship is
worth saving, Aserisky asserts. If so, both sides must agree to work it
out, which will involve compromise. "Usually, each person will have to
give up something," says Aserisky. On a world scale, Europe's need for a
strong relationship with the U.S. may push France and Germany into
supporting a war in Iraq. Even though the French and the Germans do not
favor military action, a sour relationship between the U.S. and Europe
may hurt an already weak European economy.

"As far as the relationship between the U.S. and Iraq goes, things
may be beyond repair," extrapolates Aserisky. He has seen this happen to
couples: the relationship becomes so adversarial that it is hurtful for
all involved. In these extreme cases, he advises separation. To put it
another way, he asks, "Why would you cling to a rusty razor
blade?"

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