The two busiest travel days of the year typically sandwich "Turkey Day," and this year 35.9 million people will travel 50 or more miles to be with their loved ones, up 1.7 percent from last year, according to an American Automobile Association survey. With food and football as the day's main events, Thanksgiving is perhaps the biggest holiday devoted entirely to being with others, and especially family. Yet visiting relatives can make people revert to old roles, even those they've outgrown.
"It is as if they feel like a kid again," says Norman Epstein, Ph.D., a professor of family studies at the University of Maryland. "Sometimes people find that comforting, but a lot of times they find it really frustrating." Family roles, established in childhood, can put people off, especially if they don't like the way they were treated when they were young or have changed substantially with age.
People who are stressed about Thanksgiving should consider it a time for improving family dynamics. "Look at it as an opportunity to do things differently," says Epstein. But don't expect family dynamics to drastically shift with just one sitting around the dinner table, no matter what the size of the meal. Epstein encourages patience when things don't go smoothly. "If you start to get really frustrated, find a way to take a break. Go take a walk outside."
