Kate sees Timmy in the playground and notices that he doesn't seem
like other kids. She asks, “What's wrong with that little
boy?” Her mother tries to answer some of Kate's questions, then
suggests that Kate go over and meet Timmy. It's really a story about what
they have in common as opposed to what separates them. Kate finds out
that he has a lot of the same desires as she does. They both hate math.
But they both enjoy sports, although Timmy is often excluded. Kate makes
an effort to include him in her life. This makes his life better, and it
makes her own life more enriched. The story is asking kids to take that
initial step. We don't all have to be best friends, but we can all make
an effort. So it's about being sensitive to other people's issues and
talking about inclusion.
I work with the Best Buddies movement and I talked to a guy who
volunteers as a buddy. He said to me, “I've gotten more out of this
relationship than my buddy has. I've been inspired; I've learned about
courage and overcoming obstacles.” We all could learn from someone
who has such a different life from ours.
This brings to mind a landmark film, “Being There,” in
which Peter Sellers plays a mentally retarded man who finds himself
giving advice to powerful people. At the end of the movie, you get the
impression that this simple gardener is probably going to become the next
president of the United States. Just how much can a developmentally
disabled person accomplish?
It's up to the person and his or her family. Also, it's not about
what you can accomplish in your life; I think it's about the peace,
acceptance and validation you have in your life. Can people with
developmental disabilities lead productive, fulfilling lives? You bet.
Will one of them become the next president? I doubt it. But you know, my
kids probably won't, either. And that's OK. It doesn't matter. My kids
can be whatever they want to be and do whatever it is that brings them
happiness. That's a great thing.
Also, in the book you note that when Timmy was born, Timmy's mom
was told he wasn't quite normal. His mom was overwhelmed with
sadness.
Many people tried to talk me out of including this, but I felt
strongly about it. They thought it might make kids who have a
developmental disability feel bad. But it's real. All the mothers I
interviewed told me that they had felt that sadness. They had to give up
dreams that they might have had and adjust and build new ones. All these
mothers went through a grieving process of being overwhelmed and feeling
disappointed and guilty.
In all three of your books you've addressed profoundly important
issues. That, perhaps, is why you are connecting with so many people. My
nanny, for example, got great confidence from your book,
Ten Things I Wish I'd Known Before I Went Out Into the Real
World.
Thousands of young women have said to me, “You know, I gave
this book to my parents so they would understand my passion.” One
girl, who wanted to be a teacher, told me that her parents kept pushing
her toward higher-paying careers. And she said to me, “I gave them
your book and my mother finally understood that teaching is my
passion.”
As for
What's Heaven?, I think all parents handle family
issues in their own way. I wrote this book to help promote discussion
about death with children. From there you can add or embellish or talk
about your own family's beliefs, whatever they may be. I think any way
you broach the subject or you try to get into your child's inner life is
good.
Do you have any advice for parents of the developmentally
disabled?
People have asked me, “Did you write this book for parents of
disabled children?” Actually, I wrote it for parents who don't have
disabled children. I wrote it to help them understand what parents of the
disabled go through and what their struggles are about, and hopefully,
they will treat those in the disabled community with more sensitivity in
the future.
Tags:
bicycles,
developmental disability,
forrest gump,
great grandmother,
Heaven,
i am sam,
little girl,
Maria Shriver,
Olympics,
parachute,
parenting,
people with developmental disabilities,
profound effect,
robert epstein,
saran wrap,
sequel,
special olympics,
stereotypes,
timmy,
young man
