Marie Szlezinger is a 75-year-old Holocaust survivor. Every winter
shevacations in Miami. This year, though, she isn't sure if she is
getting on a plane any time soon. The events of September n brought back
memories of a life she had already lived. Now, she is afraid all over
again. Here, marriage and family therapist Beverly Engel looks into
coping during life in the Inter years.
Marie: I like very much to go back to Miami. I go every year, for
the past 12 years. I love the sun. I like the people. I can't complain.
But now, I don't know. I [lived through] the Holocaust and I'm very
scared. If l stay in Montreal, I'll stay home. Outside it's cold for
everybody, not only me. You have to go out, though. When it's cold, I
have a mink coat.
I have some friends in Montreal and from time to time I see them.
Today my friend and her husband took me by car to the doctor. But I go
grocery shopping alone and I buy for the whole week. In the evening I
don't go out because I'm scared. But if a friend picks me up with a car,
I'll go.
I met my best friend, also named Marie, in Miami. She lives in
Montreal. Every day, she calls me and I call her. But we don't live close
to each other, so I can't see her as often as I like. I'm a lonely,
lonely person. I lost my children in the Holocaust, so I have nobody. I'm
scared that I have nobody, but still, I like to live. When it's quiet
with the planes, I'd like to buy my ticket and go to Miami. I hope to
come to Miami, but I don't like more Holocausts.
As we age we tend to feel more vulnerable and life can become much
more frightening. But the more an older person isolates herself, the more
frightening the world can become. It's sad that Marie is once again
feeling terrorized. It seems there are no guarantees--not even for a
quiet retirement. We can't blame her for wanting to stay in her apartment
where it feels safe. But research shows that we stay young by being
involved with life and by connecting with others. We have to live every
day to the fullest and squeeze every bit of joy out of life we can. Marie
and her friend have stayed young by having each other and having Miami to
look forward to each winter. Joy is what I see in Marie's face in this
picture. I hope she has the courage to visit Miami again. She deserves
it.
Beverly Engel has written books on relationships including Loving
Him Without Losing You (John Wiley & Sons, 2000) and The Power of
Apology (John Wiley & Sons, 2001).The latter is a finalist in this
year's Books for a Better Life Awards.
Tags:
apartment,
children in the holocaust,
grocery shopping,
guarantees,
holocaust,
holocaust survivor,
lonely person,
marriage and family,
marriage and family therapist,
memories,
mink coat,
montreal,
planes,
retirement,
sun,
therapist beverly engel
