Analyzes the relationship of a woman named Mindy with her fiancee
and her male bestfriend. Description given by Mindy to her relationship
with her fiancee; Views of Mindy's bestfriend on her relationship with
her fiancee.
By
PT Staff, published on November 01, 2001
Meet Mindy. During wintry March in Taos, New Mexico, she vacationed
with herfiance Daniel and her best Mend Aaron. It was the first time the
two men met. hue Mindy and Aaron have known each other for eight years,
Aaron she up Mindy's prospective matches. Here, marriage and family
therapist Beverly Engel often insight into her relationship.
Mindy: It's as if Aaron were observing my relationship with Daniel,
but not fully seeing it. Aaron and I are pretty open, but there's just no
attraction between us. When I first met Daniel, I was attracted to him
but I was in a relationship. I was playing with fire. I ended up with
Daniel by cheating on my former boyfriend who was 21 years older than I
was. There was too big of an age difference, he could have been my dad.
With Daniel, none of those issues come up--wanting to leave and look for
someone else. We're open and honest with each other about our feelings.
The night our relationship began, I was driving him home. We drove by a
burning car. We were so close to it that I felt the heat. And in the
photograph I was thinking about that burning car.
Aaron: Mindy is one of my best friends, and I think we're linked to
each other's past. It's nice to have that link and also have a viable and
dynamic friendship in the present. I was reading Sex, Ecology and
Spirituality. If I stretch my chain of reasoning out far enough, I'm sure
I can find a relationship between what I was reading and what I observed
of Mindy and Daniel. I think this is the best relationship she's been
in.
Though Mindy likes to play with fire, she also seems to be drawn to
the familiar--like returning to her grandfather's cabin where she spent
time as a child and taking her best friend Aaron on vacation with her and
Daniel. Her ability to balance the two sides is a sign of good health,
despite a tendency to want to stir things up. Unlike many women, Mindy
didn't give up her friends when she got into a new relationship. A
healthy sign. Although we certainly want to make our own decisions about
who we become involved with, it's great when our friends like and approve
of our partners.
Read More About It: LOVING HIM WITHOUT LOSING YOU Beverly Engel
(John Wiley & Sons, 2000)
PHOTO (COLOR): Mindy has a lot of childhood memories in this
A-frame cabin built by her grand-father. She took naps on this couch and
her grandmother made the afghan that accompanies it.
Tags:
burning car,
dad,
ecology,
good health,
hue,
marriage and family,
marriage and family therapist,
mindy,
one of my best friends,
photograph,
playing with fire,
tendency,
two men
