SELF-HELP BOOKS ECLIPSED COOKBOOKS years ago. Apparently we're all
hungry forsomething besides a good meal. The proliferation of self-help
books and Web sites suggests a need, but it doesn't guarantee
fulfillment. Does self-help really work?
We can, in fact, produce meaningful changes in our lives--not only
in our relationships and waistlines, but in our behavior and moods and
"personalities." Shy people can become more outgoing; the disorganized
can become more fastidious; the self-obsessed can become more caring. But
how? In his recent book, The Other Great Depression, comedian Richard
Lewis chronicles his successful battle against substance abuse and
depression. His shift to sobriety and sanity came suddenly after a kind
of "bottoming out." The precise mechanism of change, unfortunately, is
unclear. George W. Bush seems to have undergone a similar transformation
at age 40; again, the change seems sudden and mysterious. Although such
changes can be real and lasting, their very mysteriousness makes them all
but useless, for people searching for practical techniques.
Sometimes people speak of "willpower" as the key to change;
motivational gurus exhort large crowds to "will" themselves to a better
life. But willpower, too, is of limited use for most people. A day or two
after a motivational lecture, the excitement fades and real life returns.
The alternative to will is skill, and, fortunately, skills can be learned
and mastered. Counselors, therapists--and, yes, even self-help books,
videos and Web sites--can teach specific skills which, when practiced
regularly, produce real change. We take it for granted that we can learn
to drive a car, that we'll hit a few curbs at first, and that we'll
eventually drive smoothly. A variety of self-change skills can also be
learned and mastered--relaxation skills, stress-management skills and
more.
But here's the kicker: We're all taught to drive, but not one of us
is taught the basic skills we need for living and changing. That's why we
drive, in droves, to therapists and bookstores. And that's why,
presumably, you're reading this magazine. In this issue, Annie Murphy
Paul and the late Dr. Stephen B. Fried will help you navigate the world
of self-help, and you'll also learn the latest on getting kids off drugs,
helping the mentally ill and improving your love life. Don't forget to
check the oil.
Robert Epstein, Ph.D., is editor-in-chief of PSYCHOLOGY TODAY and
host of the magazine's daily radio program, accessible 24 hours a day at
www.psychtoday.com. He's also University Research Professor at United
States International University and Director Emeritus of the Cambridge
Center for Behavioral Studies.
Tags:
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depression,
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george w bush,
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gurus,
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life skills,
management skills,
meaningful changes,
motivational lecture,
practical techniques,
precise mechanism,
relaxation skills,
self help,
self help books,
substance abuse,
waistlines,
willpower
